One of the neighbours popped over this morning to ask for some sugar because she had run out and needed some to pour on her kid’s cornflakes for breakfast.
"I want your household to look ahead and see that things are going to get better," I said.
She stood on the doorstep and looked miserable.
"You need to cheer up," I said. "It is objective data that says things are absolutely getting better, and you should feel confident about that."
She said she just needed a cup of sugar.
"A cup of sugar won’t help the economy," I said. "You need to spend money. Pak’nSave have a 100g pack of Chelsea white sugar for $8.39."
She said she didn’t have time, and that the kids needed to get to school.
"You need to look to the future," I said. "Just look at what all of the economists and the data are saying. It is objective data that says things are absolutely getting better, and you should feel confident about that."
She said the truth was that she couldn’t afford the sugar. She said she had been laid off, and her husband had been made redundant. She said things were really bleak and all she was asking for was a cup of sugar.
"Now is not the time to be talking down the New Zealand economy," I said. "I’m always conscious that households listen to merchants of misery every day, most of whom sit on the Opposition benches who like to be doomsayers and talk down the New Zealand economy."
She left empty-handed.
I called out after her, "Unemployment is going to reduce, growth is going to return, things are looking better!"
She slammed her door really hard.
TUESDAY
I met with Winston in the Beehive basement. It was dark down there and I could hardly see in front of me.
"Psst," he said. I followed the noise. He was leaning against a wall.
"People are still talking about the hundreds of millions of dollars of public investment we flushed down the drain on the $671million scrapped ferry fiasco," I said.
He lit a cigarette. His face looked ancient and lined in the glow of the flame.
"We need a distraction," I said.
He nodded, and said, "I am releasing a statement at 1pm."
WEDNESDAY
People are still talking about Winston’s statement yesterday about recalling Trevor Mallard as the New Zealand ambassador to Ireland. "The carnival is over," he said, and the media lapped it up.
THURSDAY
Cup of tea with the PM. He said he kept hearing gentle whispers that I was staging a leadership coup.
"You’re imagining things," I said.
"I don’t have a strong imagination," he said.
We drank our tea in silence, and then left to stage a joint press conference in response to the Reserve Bank’s rates cut.
My comments got the most attention. Good. It all helps.
FRIDAY
I popped over to the neighbour with a teaspoon of sugar. It was the least I could do.
But no-one was home, and when I looked through the curtains, all the furniture was gone and the rooms were bare.
The neighbour on the other side said they had packed up and moved to Australia in search of work.
"Unemployment is going to reduce, growth is going to return, things are looking better," I said.
She slammed her door really hard.
