This was the message of author and film-maker Rob Cope at Clutha District War Memorial & Community Centre Te Pou ō Mata-Au last Thursday.
Mr Cope pulled no punches in the two-hour, adults-only presentation, forcing many to face the frightening virtual world threatening children’s lives.
Some were aghast at evidence and anecdotes of the darkest web content being served up to children by accident or deliberate targeting.
Statistics and examples of online abuse, and behaviour conditioned by deliberate manipulation of the brain’s dopamine-reward system were appalling, and parents realised filters on their children’s devices could not block the devices of others.
An expert public speaker, Mr Cope went to dark places then used humour and hope to bring the audience to a list of practical solutions.
"You need to know what your kid has on their device and what they’re doing with it," he said.
"You’re providing it, under your roof, so you make the rules.
"But with the game changing all the time, so do your rules — and if you don’t invade your child’s online privacy, a predator will."
Mr Cope came to Balclutha with the support of the local teaching community, particularly principal Callum Tytler, of Rosebank School.
"There’s so many risks to kids online people are unaware of [and] many don’t know how to have these conversations," Mr Tytler said.
"Rob has lots of strategies, conversation starters and real-world solutions.
"I think the main one is taking it on as a community.
"If one home has good rules for their children, that’s protecting the other children they’re around."
Mr Cope listed apps and technology to enable parents to filter, block and monitor web content, but he stressed families and communities united in awareness and connection was the most powerful safeguard.
He reminded the audience of about 130 adults they had all survived childhoods where their own parents did not know where they were half the time.
A broken bone from skateboarding was an easier fix than a young brain twisted by an online predator, porn addiction, body dysmorphia, cyber bullying or sleep disorder.
Yet parents were seldom criticised for having children safe at home playing on phones and tablets.
"What our kids need and want more than anything else is your time and attention," he said.
"As parents we have to put our phones down too."
More information and advice is available at www.ourkidsonline.info
