Another fantastically weird - or weirdly fantastic - year in sport is drawing to a close. Sports editor Hayden Meikle looks back on 2014.
A is for Awesome. That sums up the performance (and the name) of baseball pitcher Madison Bumgarner.
''Mad Bum'' inspired the San Francisco Giants to another World Series with a remarkably dominant display.
B is for Bizarre. That is the only way to describe the injury suffered by Danish cyclist Matti Breschel, who was - wait for it - hit by a flying mattress. He was heading back to base after competing in the Tour of Oman when ''a mattress flew into my front wheel and brought the bike to a standstill. I hit the asphalt pretty hard and lost a lot of skin on my legs and the wound on my knee had to be stitched up''.
C is for Cannibal. Mad Uruguayan footballer Luis Suarez was involved in his THIRD biting incident at the top level when he took a chomp out of a tasty Italian at the World Cup. He claimed: ''I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth''. Suarez copped a lengthy ban, and Liverpool sold him to Barcelona.
D is for Deutschland, Deutschland, uber alles. The Germans romped to victory at the World Cup, destroying Brazil 7-1 in the weirdest semifinal in tournament history.
E is for Exciting. While New Zealanders went Krazy for Ko, the Americans went Mad for Mo'ne Davis. She was the 13-year-old baseballer who became the first girl to earn a win and pitch a shutout in the history of the Little League World Series. She made it all the way to the cover of Sports Illustrated.
F is for Fixing. New Zealand cricket had a generally good year but one very black cloud was the match fixing scandal. Lou Vincent was banned for life after fessing up. And Chris Cairns faces court on perjury charges next year.
G is for Gay. Australian swimming great Ian Thorpe finally confirmed what we had all suspected for years - and bravo, Thorpey. There was also a massive moment in American sport when Michael Sam became the first openly gay player drafted into the NFL.
H is for Hurrell, Konrad. The Warriors wrecking ball featured in a sex tape starring a Shortland St actress.
I is for Inspiration. Russian-born American Tatyana McFadden won wheelchair silver in cross-country skiing in Sochi (her 11th Paralympic medal) and then claimed major marathon titles in Boston, London, Chicago and New York.
J is for Jeter, Derek. New York baseball fans broke down when ''Captain Clutch'' retired after 20 seasons with the Yankees. A class act, even if he played for the most hated team in world sport.
K is for KP: The Autobiography. Your must-read of the summer. Dumped English cricketer Kevin Pietersen dishes it out on every page.
L is for LeBron. King James made another huge decision when he elected to return to his old team, the Cleveland Cavaliers.
M is for Mind-blowing. What did we do before Twitter? No fewer than 672 MILLION tweets were sent about the World Cup in Brazil. There were more than 35 million during the Germany-Brazil semifinal, setting a record for the most-discussed live event in Twitter history.
N is for Nasty. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was racist. NFL star Ray Rice beat his wife. And Filipino boxer Manny Pacquiao's mother, Dionesia, was accused of ''hexing'' her son's opponent, Timothy Bradley, during their fight in April.
O is for Obituary. The sports world suffered its usual amount of loss in 2014, but two deaths in particular had an impact. Immortal footballer Alfredo Di Stefano died on July 7, aged 88. And everyone was in shock after young Australian cricketer Phillip Hughes died on November 27, aged 25, after being hit in the neck by a bouncer.
P is for Pronunciation. Were the Winter Olympics held in Sot-chee? Or Sote-chee? Or even So-shee?
Q is for Quotes ''Maybe Louis does have a golden willy.''
- Dutch footballer Arjen Robben after manager Louis van Gaal successfully switched goalkeepers before a penalty shootout.
God damn, is this the type of s... that's going on in these practices? Now I see why we've lost 20 ...... games. We're soft like Charmin. '' - Basketball star Kobe Bryant rips into his team-mates, referencing a brand of toilet paper.
''On that list I would have been No 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, with due respect to the others.''
- Genius footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic comes up with his own order after being ranked No 2 on a list of greatest Swedish sportsmen.
R is for Rabbitohs, Real Madrid, Rory McIlroy and the Ryder Cup. Souths rode Sam Burgess all the way to NRL glory, the Spaniards won a 10th European title, Rory took over the golf world, and he and his fellow Europeans smashed the Yanks again.
S is for Seattle Seahawks. Smothered the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl.
T is for Tennis. Eight grand slam singles titles (men and women combined) were shared by eight different players. (No, I couldn't name them all, either.)
U is for Um, Yeah. A rather unusual running track caused a bit of strife in Tonghe County, China. Workers said they had to hurry to complete the track ahead of a visit from state officials. Their solution? Forget the curves - lay it at right angles.
''Does the designer have a square brain?'' a local pondered.
V is for Vanessa Mae. The prominent violinist competed for Thailand in skiing at the Winter Olympics but was later banned after it was discovered an event had been manipulated to help her qualify.
W is for Wow. Yankees baseball great Alex Rodriguez lost his appeal after being busted for doping and was suspended for the entire 2014 season. That is 162 games, if you are counting at home.
X is for Xhaka, first name Granit. The Swiss midfielder goes by the nickname Young Einstein because, rarely for a professional footballer, he has a love of science.
Y is for Yankovic, Weird Al. The American parodist released Sports Song, a sample of which follows:Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeatThat theory's backed up by empirical evidenceWe're gonna grind up your guys into burger meatAgain, of course, we're speaking in the figurative sense.
Z is for Zinedine Zidane. The former French footballing great had reason to be very excited last month when his son, Enzo, made his debut for Real Madrid (well, its reserve team). Watch this space. If he keeps progressing, I have ''Z'' sorted for the next decade.
