When Wendy Frew needs a break, she never has to look far for inspiration.
She rallies her children as they drag their mattresses into the lounge for a big family movie night and sleepover.
Other times she will swap the netball kit for a chef’s hat, creating an at-home restaurant, writing a fancy menu and letting her children pick their favourite meal for her to whip up.
"It’s just those little things when life’s busy and you need to try slow down every now and again, and just make time for them and ensure that they know they’re loved and cared for," Frew said.
Frew played 176 games for the Southern Sting and the Southern Steel during her hey-day, captaining the latter to back-to-back ANZ Premiership victories in 2017 and 2018.
She continued her career while having children, missing the 2012 season through the birth of her first child and later having her second between seasons.
The former midcourter quickly worked out a return-to-play plan alongside her support team.
"I was really lucky with that support I had around to ensure that I was able to get back on to the court and get to that standard again.
"After you have your first child, there’s probably a bit of self doubt on a few things to get back to where you’ve been.
"But I had a remarkable team around me and I was very determined to get back on the court and wear that Steel dress again.
"It was a pretty special moment that first game ... and having Trent and Archie in the crowd — it meant a lot to me.
"I still remember those days that the kids were heavily involved in the netball and the [Steel] girls around them were so supportive."
No two pregnancies are the same — and the same can be said for the journey back to the court post birth.
Frew had a few complications after Archie’s birth, which meant her return to training was a slow burn.
But it was a quick turnaround after having Indie, who was born in November, and Frew was back on court within six months.
During her second pregnancy, Frew was more active, playing until she was 18 weeks pregnant with her daughter.
"I felt like I was probably a little more precious when I was pregnant with Archie, just kind of first time being pregnant and wanting it to all go well.
"I think if you’re a mother and you come back from having a baby, it just makes it extra special and worth all that hard work and that effort and commitment you put in."
Most people never fully realise how much goes on behind the scenes of an athlete mum.
The changes in your body, the fight for the return of core muscle strength and the long road to high intensity training, the sleepless nights while pregnant and the terrible morning sickness.
Then there is returning to the court fulltime while looking after a sleepless baby, who requires constant nursing and feeding throughout the night.
"For me, I always looked at it that it was my decision to play, I decided to play having kids, so I just had to suck it up," Frew said.
"Looking back, I always tried to make sure that I didn’t turn out looking tired ... in my head I was like ‘you’ve got to get up for this’.
"Especially also being captain of the team. There’s a lot of people looking up to you.
"As soon as I walked in that door ... I was fake it till you make it more or less some days.
"But I think that’s kind of putting your best foot forward for the team and ensuring that you turned up and were ready to go and leading by example."
But having a stable support network and a supportive husband — who always encouraged her to continue playing — helped Frew have the best of both.
"I think if I didn’t have that, and the wider family network, it would’ve been really tough to try and juggle motherhood and playing at that elite level.
"[I] couldn’t have done it without those people in my corner and I’ll be forever grateful for the help and support that I was given."
Frew, 41, is never one to pump herself up, but she did take a moment to reflect on her playing days.
"You kind of look back at the memories and the photos and videos of the kids — it was a really special time.
"I think when you’re caught up in that, juggling so much, you might get lost in those moments every now and then.
"I’m so proud that I did it.
"I’m so happy that the big two kids were part of that journey and now obviously the little two are getting to have a bit of a netball journey with me."
Frew returned as the head coach of the Steel this season, so what has been harder — playing with two children or coaching with four?
"My honest view is [coaching] is way harder.
"As a player you might be 20-30 hours a week ... for me coming into that coaching role, your hours triple.
"It was definitely some challenging times this year with the juggle.
"There’s lots of times as a mum your heart hurts a wee bit when the kids were getting a bit upset when I was heading away."
It was a balancing act she was learning on the run: how to switch from coach-mode — in her first professional gig — to mum-mode.
Sometimes her brain struggled to switch off from netball, but she loved the challenge of being emersed in high performance sport again.
"It’s probably something for me I really found hard adjusting too.
"Probably me being reasonably young and having four young kids, you probably didn’t get that juggle right, but that first year you’re wanting to put everything into it."
But her children were as invested in the Steel as their mum.
Frew’s children watched on at home screaming in excitement at the Steel’s last-gasp victory against the Pulse.
They are also the first to ask to hang out with the players and line up for autographs after games.
"It’s just the memory that you’re creating with the kids.
"They’re the things that put a smile on your face being a mum and in this role."
Frew loves being a mother as much as she loved being a netballer.
It brings her joy seeing her children succeed in life — whether it is at sport, drama or academically — and enjoying the fun they have as a family.
"It’s pretty cool . . . when you put in the hard work behind closed doors and then they go out and achieve what they’ve wanted to achieve.
"It’s about the whole picture of what makes them happy. It’s fun doing life with them."
Frew had a reminder for any other mothers on a similar path.
"Any mum that’s playing sport at any level, it’s a remarkable effort.
"As women we all need to be proud of ourselves having children and then trying to achieve our goals."
• TOMORROW: Becky Aitkenhead’s life as a new mum
