Kate* says she was known for giving straight-up, honest advice at the large South Island institution where she managed a group of staff for about a decade.
"I was an effective and I believe well-liked manager because I took on a lot of the heavy lifting myself when workload got too high for my department. I guess you could say I had an informal leadership style — I was not afraid to sort out conflict issues among the staff and this usually meant I did not need to involve others higher up.
"Until the last year of work at this organisation, I continued to score very highly when my performance was assessed annually. So you can imagine my confusion when the behaviour of my manager towards me started to change."
A reorganisation led to Kate being "pushed out of the inner circle".
"I became the last to know about important events and changes. And often felt blindsided by fait accomplis I was not consulted on. Then functions I used to do started to be allocated to others by my manager, without discussing with me first. And I felt gaslighted — I was told I’d never performed those functions.
"On other occasions, such as meetings, I often felt ignored and spoken to tersely. I began to feel uneasy in meetings, and worried I would not come across well, so I spoke less and less. My manager would deal directly with members of my department, avoiding me, and no longer took the time to have any social contact, e.g., coffees, with me, and would blank me in the corridor.
"I felt estranged and no longer part of the organisation. I started looking for new jobs outside the organisation, but my confidence to put my best foot forward had taken a hit. I felt increasingly alone and demoralised."
Kate attempted to use her organisation’s set process to sort things out one on one with her manager.
"I was shown the door. Once the human resources team became involved, I was then asked to use the mediation service within the organisation, and then when my manager withdrew from that initiative, but the behaviours continued, I was left out on my own with zero support. HR did not compel my manager to attend these sessions.
"The situation worsened when I continued to relay that the problem had not gone away and communicated to my manager that I felt left out and was increasingly unable to either enjoy or actually perform my role effectively."
A year later, after an investigation which resulted in Kate being disciplined, she escalated the problem through the organisation’s anti-bullying procedure.
"That was a mistake, because both HR and my manager treated this as a declaration of war, and warning letters for what seemed like minor misdemeanours started to appear in the months ahead, while nothing happened following my use of the ‘report bullying’ policy.
"I felt intensely watched and even more isolated. I regretted reporting that I felt bullied."
Kate was sent warning letters for alleged misdemeanours, then was informed of an individual restructure to her role for "operational" reasons.
"Not even my union knew what to do. My mental health deteriorated and, despite the offer of counselling by video, I felt hot-housed and depressed. It felt as though my employer was actively searching for ways to get rid of me.
"Then came some apparent good news — my employer had referred our situation to MBIE mediation where I was told, by HR, this was about mediation between myself and my manager to resolve our relationship difficulty.
"My union backed this view, saying it was extremely safe for me to attend. But this was a ruse. I was told after entering the room that, in fact, the purpose of the meeting was quite different to what I believed — my manager and the upper echelon of the organisation wanted my employment terminated.
"With no legal assistance — my union earlier advised it wasn’t necessary as my job was not at threat — I needed to suddenly fight for justice over a space of a few very shocked and traumatic hours. I left with a payout, effectively an acknowledgement for harm done, and a pretend redundancy so I could save face when the news was communicated to my team. The ‘no liability’ payout was for hurt and humiliation and I needed to sign a gagging order.
"I felt my organisation was well prepared for this outcome and had even brought along templates for me to sign so this could be done quickly. But I was not prepared at all. In trying to persuade me to take the offer during the ‘mediation’, my union said this was a better way than the more public Employment Court."
Kate felt unsupported by her union and her employer. She lost weight and stopped sleeping.
"For the first time in my life I needed sleeping pills and a heavy dose of antidepressants. This wasn’t just because of the trauma, but the financial shock of being left with no job and the uncertainty of how another employer would ever want to hire me. I had built up a career — it was my life — but I felt no-one would want me. That’s a very frightening feeling.
"At times I felt I could not go on but pulled myself through. I needed to seek permission from MBIE to even get counselling, as I was told I was not allowed to speak about it to anyone. No preparation was made for how I would feel afterwards and no offer of counselling was made. I organised and paid for the counselling myself.
"I felt dumped on the scrapheap, forced to clean out my office that same night and left to fend for myself, with no future income and virtually no self-esteem left. It took me years to get over and I will always worry I could face this again. I got back on my feet, but not without a superhuman effort.
"This was wrong — all wrong."
Name and some details changed to protect their identity
WHERE TO GET HELP
- Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
- Lifeline: 0800543-354 or text HELP to 4357.
- Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508828-865 / 0508 TAUTOKO. This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
- Depression Helpline: 0800111-757 or text 4202.
- Samaritans: 0800726-666.
- Youthline: 0800376-633 or text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz.
- What's Up: 0800 WHATSUP / 08009428-787. This is free counselling for 5 to 19-year-olds.
- Asian Family Services: 0800862-342 or text 832. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.
