There's only so much anyone can do to have the world love them.
Ever wanted someone to like you when it seems they don't?
You've tried your hardest, been nice/smart/rude, changed the way you do things, clothes you wear, places you hang out in the hope they might be even a little polite and maybe like you?
The truth is, that in this world, not everyone will like you.
Not everyone will get your humour, think you're hot, or get your unique and particular brand of awesome.
Can you think of someone you are not overly fond of?
Chances are we'll all have one or two that pop to mind.
You may really dislike being around someone or just feel a bit annoyed or irked by them.
Whatever your response, it's actually about us and our feelings.
Yep, it's about us, not them!
It can be difficult to accept and to understand that others can't ''make'' us feel a certain way.
We respond or react according to ''our'' feelings, thoughts and beliefs.
Sure people may ''press our buttons'' and annoy us, some even purposefully try to do that, but it's still about us.
Could someone you dislike ever change enough so you might like them?
What would be the point anyway?
You can really dislike them, think they're awful, and have a list as long as your arm of reasons they shouldn't be allowed to share your air - guess what, someone out there will still love them and think they are the best, funniest, nicest person around.
Same goes for how people feel about you, your style of dress, your personality, your voice, likes, dislikes, face, job and everything or anything else.
Remember, it's all about them. In most cases, even if you change everything about you, they still won't like you.
And even if they did decide to, what they suddenly like or accept about you, isn't about you either, it's still about them.
Trying to live up to someone else's expectations is exhausting.
It's not something that serves you very well.
Besides there'll be many people in your life, all with differing expectations.
How do you work out which ones to live up to?Mental and emotional energy is a finite resource, we only have so much in a day.
We need to think carefully about where we'll invest it. When we invest our energy in people who love us and things we love, we get energy back.
It helps ''fill the tank''.
But when we invest it in people who judge us or things we dislike it's like pulling a plug out and our energy is drained.
We get no return.
So, not everyone will like us, and that's OK!
There are people out there who do.
People who love us and accept us as we are.
Sure, at work it's important to keep a professional approach and put personal feelings aside, even if we dislike someone.
In our personal relationships, though, if someone dislikes us or we dislike them, move on, your energy is better spent elsewhere.
• Jan Aitken is a Dunedin-based life coach. For more go to www.fitforlifecoaches.co.nz
