For the first time since he began growing Christmas trees, John Munro sold out this week.
The Dunedin businessman can trace the reason back to a tragedy almost 10 years ago - the death of his teenage son.
In March 2005, Nicholas Munro (18) died in Dunedin Hospital, days after he was punched at a taxi stand outside a bar in Frederick St, Dunedin.
That year Nicholas' grief-stricken father was incapable of planting seedlings, destined for harvest this Christmas.
''We had an extraordinarily close relationship. I was a solo father for 10 years and he went everywhere with me,'' Mr Munro said.
Mr Munro was helped by his 7-year-old son when he planted the first Christmas tree seedlings on the family's Kaikorai Valley Rd farm in 1993.
''Everything changed for me the day that he died ...
''It was just devastating. It broke my heart and nearly broke me.''
No charges were laid after two investigations by Dunedin police into the death.
''My life was on hold, and you are exhausted, battling the emotions of loss - the devastation and bewilderment.''
He stopped doing anything which reminded him of his son, including planting and shaping Christmas trees.
''All of it reminded me of Nick. The farm is very much a part of Nick and I.''
Consequently, there were not enough trees to meet demand this year and the farm closed to shoppers on Tuesday.
''We have never run out before.''
A Christmas tree needed several years of growth and he sold hundreds of trees every year.
They were short on trees last year but remained open and sold this year's stock.
This year, rather than selling smaller trees planted for future Christmases, he had decided to close the farm.
Customers were ''gutted'' the farm had closed with 16 days before Christmas but it would reopen next year and would be better than ever.
''We are making a long-term commitment to upgrade it,'' Mr Munro said.
''That's in respect to Nick.
''He wouldn't have wanted me to crash and burn.''
Mr Munro had started planting a new variety of seedlings, which would produce bushier trees.
On the farm there was a memorial to his son, including 18 St Nicholas roses and a large rock, where he displayed his son's climbing harness and shoes.
''We did a lot of rock-climbing together, Nick and I.''
Grief could consume and destroy a person if they allowed it, he said.
''It is important to get on with your life - but sometimes that it is easier to say than do - because grief is a powerful and all-consuming thing.''
Now, the tears he cried for his son were of ''pride and joy'' rather than tears due to the ''devastation of loss''.
