Legal career not all seriousness

PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES

The law has much seriousness, but there are times when humorous incidents occur which can lift the spirits and help put everything in perspective.

Many years ago I was sitting at the rear of the Ashburton District Court on a hot summer’s day waiting for my case to be called. An experienced barrister from Christchurch happened to be seated alongside, and I asked him what he thought was the paramount attribute required to be a successful advocate.

My expectation was that he could have something reasonably profound to say, and might even quote Cicero or some other famous legal luminary. Even William Shakespeare made some notable comments and observations on the law.

After a silence of around two minutes, he replied in a solemn tone: "Patience." Perhaps he had been waiting longer than me that day!

A client in the family court kept insisting that a mediation hearing was in fact a medication hearing. The judge however made it very clear at the conclusion of this that the only medication to be dispensed that day would be strictly legal.

Counsel representing a defendant on a third drink-driving charge informed the court that his client had undergone an epiphany. The judge responded that he would likely experience a further one at sentencing.

An English judge presiding at the Old Bailey in London was surprised at how deferential defendants and witnesses could be.

Among other things he had at various times been called "Your Excellency", "Your Holiness" and even "Your Majesty", but thought it a step too far when addressed as "O Lord most High".

There are many legal dramas and programmes with legal themes. Fictional characters such as Rumpole of the Bailey provide wonderful entertainment. English barrister the late John Mortimer QC penned the Rumpole series, being inspired by his own court experiences. He saw in Rumpole an amalgam of the sort of fearless advocate he himself would like to have been had he possessed that level of confidence and flair.

Rumpole was a tireless defender of the underdog and unperturbed by status or hierarchy. The exchanges with his nemesis Judge Bullingham (known to counsel as "Mad Bull") were legendary.

Fortunately, wigs, gowns and other accoutrements have in general slowly been discontinued from use in New Zealand courts, with the horse-hair wigs in particular being a relic of our colonial past, and often somewhat ill fitting. On one occasion in the High Court mine dislodged and travelled like a projectile for some distance before I managed to recover it.

A typographical error in a draft will was cause for a degree of mirth when the testator’s directions were incorrectly recorded in stating that the balance of funds in the estate were to be held in trust for The Salvation of New Zealand, instead of The Salvation Army of New Zealand. (The salvation of New Zealand would indeed have posed challenges.)

Among the hurly-burly of the courts and daily practice of law, these lighter moments are to be cherished.

• Joss Miller is a retired Dunedin lawyer.