By Steve Braunias
Andrew Coster
I ran into senior police officer Jevon McSkimming at church today. What a pleasure to meet such a fine young man with Christian morals who devotes himself to law and order. He is definitely going to make a name for himself!
Jevon McSkimming
I ran into police commissioner Andrew Coster at church today. He said, “I could use a man like you!” There was something triggering in the word ‘‘use’’ and for a second I imagined Coster wearing a black leather mask with a zippered mouth and cracking a whip in a dungeon but it's likely not his scene.
Andrew Coster
Interviews have begun for the role of deputy police commissioner. McSkimming seems perfect for the role. He works such long hours! He’s often at his desk late at night, staring intently at the screen.
Jevon McSkimming
Interviews have begun for the role of deputy police commissioner. Coster is on the panel. He had his pen poised over a sheet of paper in front of him, and said, ‘‘Do you have anything to declare?’’ I said there had been a bit of crisis in my personal life and things had gotten really full-on as in there were a great many emails circulating in all directions as well as Facebook posts and something on LinkedIn, and that it had all come about because of an affair I had with a woman who I set up with a job at Wellington central police station and was now extremely distressed and saying I had ruined her life, but putting that to one side, I had nothing to declare. He ticked the box.
Andrew Coster
I ran into deputy police commissioner McSkimming at church today. He really seems to making a great fist of his promotion! He's also put that bad business with the stalker behind him. Good for him. I was really concerned for his well-being. He's a sensitive man.
Jevon McSkimming
I ran into police commissioner Coster at church today. He said he was thinking of stepping down to take up fresh challenges, and asked if I might be interested in the position. There was something triggering in the word ‘‘position’’ and for a second I imagined myself chasing a clearly anxious sheep through a field and trying to grab hold of the fleece on the back of its neck but I remembered that last night I had lamb chops for dinner.
Andrew Coster
Interviews have begun for the role of interim commissioner. McSkimming has applied. There was mention of that ancient business with a crazed stalker. I sighed and stated that McSkimming was fit and proper to take on the position, and that I would stake my reputation on it.
Jevon McSkimming
Interviews have begun for the role of interim commissioner. Coster is on the panel. He had his pen poised over a sheet of paper in front of him, and said, ‘‘Do you have anything to declare?’’ We just laughed, and he ticked the box.
Andrew Coster
Abhorrent revelations about McSkimming have come to light.
Jevon McSkimming
Permanent name suppression should do the trick.
Andrew Coster
I need to run.
Jevon McSkimming
I need to hide.
Andrew Coster
I ran into the disgraced Jevon McSkimming at church today. I said to him, ‘‘Get away from me!’’
Jevon McSkimming
I ran into the disgraced Andrew Coster at church today. ‘‘Too late,’’ I replied.
