But that is what it has chosen to do.
As someone whose sartorial splendour, or lack thereof, has been affected by the CBA for years, I feel qualified, although I hesitate to use the word amply, to pass judgement on this.
Those who are not accustomed to bra wearing might not understand the concept.
The comfy bra is one where any elasticity has long since abandoned ship, leaving the straps, no matter how tight you try to make them, only good at falling down and revealing themselves in all their tatty glory when you least expect it.
Their role in holding up the bra structure and what may lie within is redundant.
The cups, whether they runneth over or not, have lost much of their oomph — no hope of emulating the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman look from the 1970s or any other recognisable shape.
Pointing in the right direction is a thing of the past. Gravity is the only winner.
Things are not much better at the base of the bra. After years of being stretched to breaking point, any elastic there is knackered too.
Even with hooks and eyes at their supposedly tightest settings, there is nothing snug about the fit.
The beauty of this, if I dare describe it thus, is that this undergarment, freed from any real value as an over shoulder boulder holder, is comfortable.
You hardly know it is there because it might as well not be.
At the end of a long day there is no need to free yourself from its confines as you settle down on the couch to watch rubbish on the telly because there is not much constraining about it.
Nothing rubs or pinches. Wearing this bra may be pointless but it is familiar and non-threatening. Reassuring, even. This bra has no statement to make.
Once it might have had some impact, although, in my case, nothing which could be considered sexy.
No half-cups for me, or pointless, scratchy lace.
The sort of rigidity provided by a sports bra is what I go for. That baffled the offspring, who once asked my late husband why sports bras were necessary when I never played sport.
Without batting an eyelid, bless him, he said it was because I spent so much time watching their sports.
The CBA means you cling to this garment even though in your heart of hearts you know it is a dud.
That is what this government is doing with its climate change policy. It does not want to make any moves which might be uncomfortable for farmers or business or anyone else so it behaves as if we are back in the 1950s (not that bras were comfy then, with the fashion tragedy which was the ultra-pointy bullet bra, but I digress).
Its climate change policy comfy bra supports backtracking on emissions reduction plans and encourages more emissions.
At the very time we might want successive governments to follow an agreed reductions path because constant flip-flopping on climate change policy will ultimately cost more and likely add to emissions, this government has called time on any cross-party accord.
That it comes when we are still reeling from the latest weather emergency in which climate change has played a part — October’s big wind — shows how blinkered the government’s thinking is.
The consensus achieved in the passing of the Zero Carbon Act did not go as far as many would have wanted, but it was pointing in the right direction.
The disdain which Climate Change Minister Simon Watts displayed towards this previous accord with last week’s late night announcement revealing plans for significant changes to the Act, without consulting opposition parties, says it all.
Now, the government wants us to believe doing next to nothing and relying on necessity to be the mother of invention will get us to zero carbon in 2050.
It is magical thinking.
As Newsroom’s Marc Daalder points out, "even if the technology pans out, the government is still not on track to meet the 2030 target of a 10% reduction in methane emissions or the 2031-2035 carbon budget".
"New Zealand will emit 38 million more tonnes of greenhouse gases over the next quarter-century under current projections than had been projected after the election."
What the government does not realise is that eventually the CBA prompts a wake-up call and action is required.
In my case, it came after the horror of catching a glimpse of my saggy silhouette in a shop window.
The solution was an expensive and yes, somewhat uncomfortable new bra, which digs into my back fat.
Good for sports watching and best viewed in the dark.
But it is uplifting.
• Elspeth McLean is a Dunedin writer.
