Male sexual abuse survivors speak

Bristlecone Project helper Claire Harwell and founder David Lisak with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust Oamaru senior manager Dugal Armour (in background) have been interviewing Otago male survivors of sexual abuse and assault.  Photo: Shannon Gillies
Bristlecone Project helper Claire Harwell and founder David Lisak with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust Oamaru senior manager Dugal Armour (in background) have been interviewing Otago male survivors of sexual abuse and assault. Photo: Shannon Gillies
Three Otago men have come forward to join an international project highlighting the stories of men who survive sexual assault and abuse.

The Bristlecone Project began five years ago in the United States.

Portraits of survivors and their stories were collected and then made accessible to the public online.

Two Oamaru men and one from Dunedin last week added their stories to the many.

Their stories will be part of an exhibition at the Museum of Canterbury in November to run for three months.

The purpose of the project, its creator David Lisak, said, was to show the reality of what victims lived with, to fight stigmatisation, and to let men who may have been victims know they are not alone.

''We know when other men see other men willing to put their faces and names out there publicly and tell their story, other men feel like they can tell their partner, or friend or somebody.

''There's still a fairly widespread belief that sexual violence effects only women. We need to get these stories out that it's something men are struggling with as well.

''I'm a survivor myself.''

The project initially involved only three men when it was launched and could have stopped there, Dr Lisak said, but was now close to 100.

The site carries testimonies from 11 countries and when Dr Lisak returns home will include the stories of 26 New Zealanders.

He wanted people to feel overwhelmed by the numbers of people taking part in the Bristlecone Project.

''I want it to be exhausting.''

He was no longer surprised by anything he heard from survivors.

He helped train detectives in the US and spent time breaking down their beliefs about the profiles of people who attacked males.

Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust Oamaru senior manager Dugal Armour said abusers could be aunts, uncles, brothers - the list went on.

He said the consequences of sexual abuse could manifest in destructive behaviours, a point proved by the number of prison inmates who suffered childhood trauma.

Even though discussions about males being victims of sexual abuse crimes were happening in some quarters, the conversation points needed to be spurred along and made more mainstream so men felt comfortable about coming forward, he said.

He said part of the issue was New Zealand's ''very poor'' understanding of sexuality and what was acceptable behaviour for various genders differed and created confusion.

''Every community has its own dynamics.

''Sometimes a closer community can hamper the discussion as much as it can help it.

''It's nothing new. It's been going on for millennia, but in society now it's almost reached critical mass and we can start having that discussion.''

The numbers of victims were horrific and it was surprising the nation was not outraged, Mr Armour said.

shannon.gillies@odt.co.nz

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