Oamaru woman Kelly Ross says the local mental health system is stretched too thin - and has failed her family twice.
Four years ago, her husband Wayne took his own life, after struggling to access the support he needed in Oamaru, and now she is battling the Southern DHB to get mental health support for her teenage son.
"They just don't have the resources to help - and I feel like it's kids around my son's age [15] who do fall through the cracks," Mrs Ross said.
"The Southern DHB has a duty of care to look after us and they're failing."
Mr Ross was 46 years old when he took his own life.
His death had a devastating effect on those he left behind: his wife of 13 years, their three children, now aged 17, 15 and 13, and his other family and friends.
"Ever since I'd met him he'd been on anti-depressants and been quite open about his depression to me, but probably not to his friends," Mrs Ross said.
"The main comment from his friends when he died was `he always seemed so happy'."
A two-day inquest into the circumstances that led to Mr Ross' death, presided over by coroner Sue Johnson, of Christchurch, was held at the Oamaru District Court this week.
No evidence heard at the inquest over the two days can be reported on further by media.
Mrs Ross said she was lucky to be surrounded by "amazing" support from family and friends after her husband's death.
"But as you get further down the track, and everyone gets back to that day-to-day living, you've still got all of these problems going on and not really knowing what avenues to take - that's when it starts to get hard," she said.
Mrs Ross was offered counselling, but said, in a sense, there was an expectation that you would just "get on with it".
However, there was no counselling offered to her children.
"It's like they sort of fell through the cracks a little bit and I wonder whether it was because the schools were supposed to deal with it. There was no real protocol."
The small-town gossip had also been difficult to deal with, she said.
"That's why I've tried to be open and honest to whoever has asked about what actually happened.
"I'll always talk about depression and suicide to anyone - and the experience we've had."
Since Mr Ross' death, she has been regularly approached by others struggling to access mental health support services in Oamaru.
"A lot of them are kids," she said.
"They're sharing similar experiences, or the fear of talking about it because they don't know how people will react."
Mrs Ross has become a passionate advocate for change in the mental health system.
"I've got three kids and I need to make sure it doesn't happen again - that's my main concern.
"At the end of the day, Wayne's dead and that's not going to change, but I need to do what I can to try to protect my [family]."
But it was a constant battle - especially recently as she tried to get help for her 15-year-old son.
In June, a referral from his school counsellor was declined by the Southern DHB, which cited unclear evidence that the issues he presented "amounted to a moderate to severe psychiatric disorder".
"Currently, the impression we have garnered is of truancy and a disregard of others," the Southern DHB letter reads.
Mrs Ross said she was shocked and disheartened by the Southern DHB's response.
"Why can't anyone turn up and say `I want to talk to someone' and that service be available?
"You shouldn't get assessed and told `no'."
She likened mental health services to a bottom-of-the-cliff scenario, where people could only access help when they reached breaking point.
In a written statement, the Southern DHB offered its condolences to the Ross family for their "tragic loss".
Mental health, addictions and intellectual disability general manager Louise Travers said the Southern DHB aimed to provide the "best possible care for people who access our services and we take any concerns raised by patients and/or their families very seriously".
Ms Travers said Waitaki mental health staff were "working extremely hard to meet local demand".
"The demand for mental health services is increasing across the country - as it is around the world - and the Waitaki area is no exception to this."
She said there was a range of mental health services and support available in the Waitaki district, including the Southern DHB Child Youth and Family services and youth forensic services.
Other services included: the Adventure Development Limited Programme, supporting people alongside the Mental Health and Addictions Youth Service, Thrive! Te Pae Ora, a youth brief intervention primary mental health youth service, Mirror HQ youth addiction service, Youthline (face to face), school social workers and counsellors and Able - Southern Family Support.
"Their GP is usually the first point of contact if they need support; their GP will be able to refer them to appropriate services," Ms Travers said.
"Nationally, there are ongoing efforts to create greater opportunities for support. This includes the introduction of the national help line 1737 and other national support lines."
Where to get help
• Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
• Depression Helpline, phone 0800 111-757 to talk to a trained counsellor.
• Healthline, phone 0800 611-116, if you feel unwell or sick, or need advice.
• Samaritans, phone 0800 726-666, if you need confidential emotional support 24/7.
• Youthline, phone 0800 376-633, free text 234, or email talk@youthline.co.nz.
• What’s Up, phone 0800 942-8787, for 5- to 18-year-olds. Monday to Friday, noon to 11pm, weekends 3pm to 11pm. Online chat 5pm to 10pm, seven days, at www.whatsup.co.nz.
• OUTLine NZ, phone 0800 688-5463 (0800 OUTLINE), support for sexuality or gender-identity issues. Helpline available 6pm to 9pm daily.
• Lifeline, phone 0800 543-354, or text HELP to 4357.
