Instead, they both played and played a starring role, picking up four wickets apiece as England's formidable batting line-up folded in a weak display to be all out for 167.
It could have been a lot worse, had the touring side not found some unlikely runs from Steven Finn (20) and James Anderson (23). The pair added 47 from 11 overs for the ninth-wicket. Remarkably, that was England's best partnership on a day when the home side dominated in the most unexpected fashion.
Written off as a bunch of misfits who belonged in a second-tier competition, and seemingly in a state of disarray after a series of public relations disasters, the Black Caps produced a stunning performance to take the initiative into day three.
With the sun on their backs openers Hamish Rutherford (77), who was on debut, and Peter Fulton (46) put on an unbroken stand of 131.
It was New Zealand's first 100-run opening stand against England since Mark Richardson and Stephen Fleming combined for 163 in Nottingham in 2004.
Rutherford was hitting so many boundaries that the applause rather drowned out the Barmy Army's attempts to make jovial. Still, you have probably never seen so many English flags. The University Oval could have been Arundel, in Sussex.
Hamish has certainly made a better start to his test career than his father, former New Zealand captain Ken Rutherford. Ken made 12 runs in his first seven innings, Hamish took 12 balls to get that many runs.
He was dropped three times after he reached 50, though. England's outfield cricket was well below the standard you would expect from the world's No 2 side.
Jonathan Trott was one of the few English batsmen to show some mettle. He top-scored with 45 before making an error and getting a top edge while trying to sweep Martin.
However, the day belonged to Wagner (four for 42) and Martin (four for 43).
With the pitch under cover for best part of 24 hours, the ball nipped about early.
Tim Southee got the initial breakthrough when opener Nick Compton got a bottom edge on to his stumps.
England captain Alastair Cook was dropped on nine but was unable to make the most of his fortunate escape, spearing a catch to point.
Wagner celebrated Cook's departure with the wicket of Kevin Pietersen, trapping him lbw first ball.
Ian Bell safely negotiated the hat trick ball but with England 35 for three at drinks, the visitors needed to rebuild.
Trott provided the first signs of some kind of revival. He is an obsessive gardener who is always smoothing some bump or brushing aside something he has spotted.
He used all those powers of concentration to survive until drinks and then shortly after the break drove a delivery from Wagner through the covers for a fine boundary.
It released the pressure valve but more importantly signalled Trott's resolve. However, his partners were finding it tougher to survive.
Bell survived a confident lbw appeal, only to pick out Rutherford at a short mid-off position.
Joe Root was undone by a rising delivery from Trent Boult before he could get set, and at lunch England was reeling at 81 for five.
Matt Prior provided some relief with back-to-back drives through the covers but then holed out with a forgettable shot straight to Kane Williamson. Martin celebrated his maiden test scalp with a couple more. Trott got a top edge and Stuart Broad holed out in the deep.
Limping along at 119 for eight, Finn and Anderson proved of annoyance value to the home side.
Finn smashed a drive down the ground to bring up 150 for the team and Anderson got cheeky with a reverse sweep and a lovely late cut for a couple of boundaries.
Wagner and Martin combined to remove the last two wickets.
