Can you predict with any sort of accuracy what the sporting world will deliver in 2012? Of course not. But Hayden Meikle will try. Here are 20 vaguely possible predictions for the new year.
One we're not expecting.
2. Rising shot put star Jacko Gill will miss out on a medal, but show he is not far away.
3. Usain Bolt will run the 100m in 7.56sec, taking just 13 strides.
4. The All Blacks will schedule two more tests to take advantage of their status as WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS. Ka-ching.
5. But there will be some teething problems for new coach Steve Hansen, who will quickly revert to Mr Grumpy after a couple of losses. The best players of the year will be Israel Dagg and Kieran Read.
Three different openside flankers will be used, but none will reassure us that life after Richie McCaw (whenever that officially begins) will be easy. New All Blacks will include Sean Maitland, Dane Coles and Sam Cane.
6. The Highlanders will quietly tootle along in mid-table in the Super 15 before staging a dramatic rally to sneak into the playoffs for the first time in a decade.
Hosea Gear will score 13 tries, Adam Thomson will start games at blindside, openside, No 8 and the wing, Colin Slade will not break any bones, Jamie Mackintosh will play his way back into the All Blacks, and Jimmy Cowan will hug the referee after each game.
7. Otago will NOT win the Ranfurly Shield. But it will reach the final of whatever name is given to the second division.
8. The Black Caps will beat Zimbabwe in the one-off test, lose the three-test series with South Africa 2-1, split the three-test series with the West Indies 1-1, and lose the three-test series with India 3-0. They will reach the final of the world twenty/20, with Brendon McCullum named player of the tournament.
9. Bowing to pressure from bored players and sponsors, the International Cricket Council will can 50-over cricket and replace it with 10-over cricket. The new ten/10 format will be immediately successful, with India's Virender Sehwag hitting the first century in the abbreviated, abbreviated, abbreviated form of cricket.
10. Inspired by ten/10's success, rugby (fours), hockey (fives), swimming (20m freestyle), golf (three holes on each green), netball (anyone can shoot) and tennis (quintuples) will invent kooky new versions of their sport.
11. The Silver Ferns will have a relatively quiet year but will win the short-form world series on home court. Looking for publicity, Netball New Zealand will devise a new reality television show, Goal Shoot Idol, in South Africa to find the next Irene van Dyk.
12. The Breakers will go back-to-back and again win the Australian NBL, with Thomas Abercrombie named MVP.
Closer to home, the Otago Nuggets will win five games, their most since Mark Dickel was in short shorts.
13. Manly will also go back-to-back in the NRL. The Warriors will just scrape into the playoffs but will again stage a fairytale playoff run. All the way to the grand final? If Shaun Johnson and James Maloney stay healthy.
14. Manchester City (ugh) will win the Premier League, proving money can buy anything. Barcelona (obviously) will win another Champions League. And Germany will beat Spain in the final of the European Championship.
15. Men's golf majors will be won by Tiger Woods (seriously), Luke Donald, Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler. The United States will regain the Ryder Cup 15-13.
16. Novak Djokovic will win two men's tennis grand slams and Rafael Nadal and Andy Murray one each. And the women's?
Start pulling names out of a hat.
17. The Green Bay Packers (NFL), the Miami Heat (NBA), the Vancouver Canucks (NHL) and the Philadelphia Phillies (MLB) will win the major American titles.
18. Sebastian Vettel will make it eins, zwei, drei titles in Formula 1.
19. Winners at the Halberg Awards will be Richie McCaw (man), Valerie Adams (woman), Graham Henry (coach), and the All Blacks (team and supreme award).
Will any judges quit in protest? Unlikely.
20. Yet another sports-themed This Is Your Life will be screened, and Stephen Donald will not suspect a thing.
NOTE
For purposes of full disclosure, it should be noted I made the following predictions for 2011:
• The All Blacks would win the World Cup. Ding!
• The Highlanders would only win four games. Ouch.
• Canterbury would win the ITM Cup. Ding!
• The Black Caps would not make the Cricket World Cup semifinals. Ouch.
• India would win it. Ding!
• The Silver Ferns would win the world netball championships. Ouch.
• Manchester United would win the Premier League, and Barcelona would win the Champions League. Double Ding!
• The Dragons would win the NRL. Ouch.
• Queensland would win State of Origin 2-1. Ding!
• Novak Djokovic would only win one grand slam tennis title. Ouch.
• Kim Clijsters and Sam Stosur would each win a women's title. Ding!
• The Lakers, the Patriots, the Penguins and the Phillies would win the major American titles. Ouch times four.
