Dunedin was too fast out wide for Zingari. Taieri nearly put the ton on Green Island and a hooker scored a third of the points.

Harbour got up late to upset Varsity. Southern was tradesmanlike in holding on to the Jack Hore against Pirates.

Alhambra-Union, slightly against the odds, got the ''breathers'' working late to hold on against Kaik at the Veldt.

The 'ODT' Express
The smell of the liniment has wafted off, the crowd and the over-the-top commentator have been silenced, and 5-1 favourite Gavin Stark has scooped the chocolates.

The race had everything: extreme pace, cheating, sublime skills, massive hits, crowd noise, tension, drama and finally a deserved winner.

Apparently, social media (what's that?) have been crying foul that the 100-1 musterer from Maheno was robbed. Rubbish. All contestants knew the referee (yours truly) was the sole arbiter of fact, and from my position in the field of play, Stark was first over the line and scoring.

I would have loved the musterer to win but his followers can't feel too aggrieved. If you look at the video, he gets a 20m head start when not going through the gauntlet at the start of the race, so he probably would have been disqualified.

And what's with Eel supporters? Have you become the biggest whingers in town?

Willie Tagicakibau was 20m ahead of the field heading into the final obstacle but he took on Brayden Mitchell on a crash pad and came off second best. Get over it and stop bleating. Willie is better than all of you whingers.

He emailed me to thank me for the opportunity and is keen for a rematch with Stark.

525-5
That is the points differential after four games for the Southern under-9s, coached by none other than ''Colty'', the long-suffering coach of the Spannerheads.

Now, Colty, I know the wins were few and far between out at the Toolbox but don't you feel you have extracted enough revenge?

Cut the pre-season back from four months to two (you're with the team longer than Browny and Yards!), give all your reserves a run and give a few players to the opposition once you reach 100. Just relax!

Colts rugby
There were a few grumblings out at Shark Park at the weekend when four Taieri premiers turned out for the colts and beat the previously unbeaten Makos. But I've checked with the Godfather, Perkins, who assures me it's all above board.

The rules used to be if your name appeared on a team sheet in a higher grade five times, you couldn't go back down. It changed midway through last year. It's now open slather till June 1, then three times on the teamsheet. Sounds sensible.

A quick word on the colts draw. We are repeating three games from last week this week. Faulksy (Otago Boys' Second XV) and Super Coach II (little Jimmy Columb jun from the Onion premier colts) would really like to know why as they got beaten by the Tigers and the Magpies respectively.

Apparently it's to do with the draw matrix and split round followed by a full round. That's too complicated - most of us prefer to blame Reggie!

Odds and sods
Tumua Ioane got his 100-game blazer for the Sharks last weekend and he is only 24.

You used to have to be well into your 30s to achieve this, but it's not surprising as he played his first game as a 17-year-old. Good to see Brad Weber was there for the presentation. Word is he plays for the Sharks this weekend and Mike Casey from the Eels has given his blessing.

I hear John Morrison got his first try for Arrowtown at the weekend after nearly 10 years of trying - that's a lot of nude runs. The story goes his girlfriend has watched every game apart from that one - let's hope the penny has dropped!

This weekend
Destroyed the bohemian Morris last weekend and on to Green Island's best known grocer ( best specials in town), John Moyle. Taieri on form should thrash the Sharks (12-) but I'd rather stand for the Eels Community Board than back them. Kaik (13+) on the veldt will landlock Pirates. The Magpies (12-) should pip the Hawks but I sniff an upset. Varsity (13+) will destroy the Spannerheads.

In the game for the inaugural ''Grace Mills'', the Colours (12-) will just get up over the Onion. They can't afford not to as Grace will be looking down telling them to tackle low. Colours boys, get it done for one of Zingari's finest.

PS The word on the street is Thommo is back in NZ next year - does Jake pick him?paul.dwyer@alliedpress.co.nz