Planning a Hag Do or Sten

An increasing number of people are booking sten or hag dos, seeing the benefits of a combined event. Most couples are spending longer together before they are married.

Which renders the “last night of freedom” concept obsolete, meaning those outrageous days of tie-the-groom-to-alamppost-in-Timaru the night before his wedding are officially over. So, phew. Or boo-hoo, depending on your sensibilities.

Doing it together may mean you save money or combine budgets and go bigger.

A Sten party is wonderful for your family and friends: if you have been together for a long time, chances are you have a large group of mutual friends, meaning everyone can stick together and enjoy the evening.

If, on the other hand, your friends have never had the chance to spend a lot of time together, this is the perfect opportunity for everyone to come together and mingle before the big day.


Do it for the right reasons, and not because of trust issues. It should be to double the fun and definitely not just to keep an eye on your partner.

Do make sure it’s something you both really want. If one of you is pushing the other one, it will only end up in resentment.

Do ensure that planning is a priority. Joining forces often means a large group, and spontaneity is never a good idea with numbers.

Do take into consideration the other hens and stags’ expectations when you make your decision. Will your maid of honour be upset at not being able to make the plans and surprise you? Will your H2B’s friends just want a lads’ night out?

Do think about the dynamics of the group. Make sure there are no awkward past history situations between a hen and a stag, although it will be impossible to avoid new history if two of your guests get on a bit too well . . .


• A sports challenge.
• An evening at a comedy show.
• Chef-challenge style bake-off. Nailed it!
• A wine trail (and for a degree of difficulty) on bicycle.
• An “all time” gig of your favourite band.
• Pub quiz.
• Car rally.
• Paintball.
• An amazing race.