> The Expendables
2 stars (out of 5)
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Giselle Itie, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke
Rating: (R16)
Being too silly for words is not a disadvantage for an action movie. Plenty of them make little sense, but win us over with a fast pace and cavalier manner.
So, in principle, I have no objection to Sylvester Stallone's band of creaky mercenaries wreaking havoc on an obscure South American island.
What I find irritating is the pomposity of regular updates on how their line of work is impacting on their souls.
The Expendables (Rialto and Hoyts) is really Rambo with mates. Stallone plays Barney Ross, the leader of a band of brothers for hire. Between jobs they hang out at Mickey Rourke's tattoo parlour lamenting the deadness inside them.
Ross finds a cause when he is hired to free the island of Vilena from a dictator and meets the general's fetching daughter Sandra (Giselle Itie).
He heads off to nobly face certain death, telling his mates they have no obligation to help him, so it is a shock when he jumps into his plane and finds the crew assembled there. These guys really care.
Stallone wrote, directed and starred in this, and its faults are down to him. Dull character exposition; blurry, cheap-looking camera work and as for acting, only Stallone thinks that he can. Despite all the negatives, this will be a success because most men will love it.
Best thing: Stallone and Steve Austin as a baddie have one extended all-out fight sequence where you can really feel it. Stallone had to have emergency surgery afterwards.
Worst thing: I thought Angelina Jolie's running in Salt was lame, but I had not yet seen Stallone's hop, skip style to save his knees.
See it with: A man with a beer in his hand. Even in the dark you will be able to see the glow of contentment.
- Christine Powley
