Quite frankly, I think that the scene where Bridget Jones gets busted wearing a large pair of panties did us all a bit of a disservice.
No Bridget, I screamed, gesticulating wildly at the television. It's ok! Unless that dude is wearing a G-string, tell him to bugger off!
There is nothing wrong with rocking a pair of pants that actually cover your bum! Undies aren't supposed to double as bunting! Hold tight girl, hold tight!
Whilst I pondered the formation of my 'women who like full briefs' support group (I thought I would start with a Facebook page so people took me seriously), I knew I had my work cut out for me. A visit to the gym made this especially obvious.
As my eyes darted round the change room collating undercover research, woman everywhere had divided their behinds from anywhere between two and eight buttocks in support of tiny knickers.
In what was clearly a valiant attempt to keep the undie-age down, us chicks are clearly stuck in a less is best mentality- with often undesirable results.
It didn't end there.
Moving through to the yoga space, it appeared the virus had also spread to leisurewear.
Just as we had normalised starving our bottoms of fabric resources, it appeared us gals also liked to festoon ourselves in too-small garments and inappropriate materials when it came to sportswear also.
Believe me, downward dog takes no pri
So, as the seam split completely on the crotch (I know!) of my favourite yoga pants (at home, peoples, at home), I knew now was my time. I had to fly the flag for that which I believed. I wanted coverage, I wanted comfort and, of course, I wanted to look good.
But I didn't want my yoga pants to fit inside a matchbox and I wanted to maintain feeling in all areas of my person.
After trying on some shreds of unforgiving spandex, lacklustre cotton duds, and branded legging-type monstrosities, I stumbled across the oasis of Silk Body.
Browsing through their racks, the material melted between my finger tips- I wanted to pull everything off the hangers, form a massive mountain and dive in. It really felt that lovely.
Overcome with lust, I clutched the garments I desired and hotfooted to the change room to try those puppies on.
The silky goodness felt amazing. The quality was great and the fit? Pretty slick. But I was only standing still. Would these yoga garments prove their worth in a change room yoga dance? There was one way to find out.
Surveying the space and double-checking it for cameras, I broke out in a yoga-esque trance rave. You know, bit of a twizzle here. Bit of a prance there. Mix it up with a spanking bit of yogic upside- down-ness. After all, a test drive is a test drive. One can never be too careful.
The overall result? Most excellent I would think. Coverage? Check! Comfort? Check! Smoking hot good looks? Check! Full feeling in both buttocks? Check!
Well then. Cheque, cheque, cheque, cheque, cheque.
Let's get these babies home.
Right. Now let's discuss world peace...
- Purakanui writer Jane Pike is addicted to fashion, being a mum and not taking herself too seriously.
