watch out if he sneezes.
... been arrested?
"No, but I did get into trouble once for nearly thumping someone. It wasn’t my fault though. My boss was pulling my levers and I lost control."
... dropped the F-bomb during a job interview?
"F**K yeah! It’s a prerequisite for getting a job in the construction industry."
... peed in a pool?
"No, but I sneezed and broke one of my hydraulic oil hoses at work one day. It left a skid mark about 20 metres long on the ground in front of my work colleagues. Oh my God, it was the most humiliating thing."
... taken a sick day so you could watch a Netflix series you’re addicted to?
"Yes. I’m not ashamed to say it. I watched all two seasons of Bridgerton. People expect you to be all tough and manly when you work on a construction site, but watching that period romance really got me in touch with my softer sensitive side."
... sold an unwanted Christmas gift on Trade Me?
"I don’t know why, but my family and friends always seem to buy me socks. I mean, what’s with that. What use could I possibly have for socks? I don’t sell them on Trade Me. I just bash a hole out the back yard somewhere and bury them."
... tried to sneak out of work a few hours early?
"Yup. You’d think it would be difficult for someone my size, but if you wait until the boss has left and you move confidently and look like you’re intent on doing something important, no-one seems to notice. Being so tall and having a penchant for thumping things, you’d be a brave person to tattle on me."
... stretched the truth on your CV?
What? No. I would never. I really did spend a year in Africa helping the poor.
... skipped a Covid vaccination or got one and then spotted Bill Gates in your rear-view mirror twice in one week?
Nope. But I caught Billy Te Kahika hiding in the shed out the back.
