I believe the author of my thesaurus compiled the above list of synonyms after an expedition to the Mueller Hut in Aoraki/Mt Cook National Park. It is much more than a walk in the park: at a height of 1800m above sea-level, it is almost half as high as the nearby summit of Aoraki/Mt Cook.
A weekend tramp to the Mueller Hut had been on my To Do list for so long the ink had begun to fade.
With a weekend of fair weather forecast we head off to Aoraki/Mount Cook to tick it off the list in the company of our teenage children and family friends.
The growing popularity of this alpine hut as a weekend tramp is evident by the group of trampers waiting for the doors of the Department of Conservation office to open at 8.30am.
Once capacity for the 28-bunk hut is reached, no further hut tickets are issued for that night, although camping remains an option for hardier trampers.
It is well worth spending some time perusing the displays at the recently opened Doc visitor centre that showcases mountaineering history in a modern light-filled building.
The collection of memorial books for the hundreds of climbers who have lost their lives in the area are a chilling reminder of the extremes of weather conditions and the risks involved with venturing into the mountain environment.
We begin the walk on the Kea Point Track, which can be picked up from Aoraki/Mt Cook village or at the White Horse Hill car park.
The leisurely stroll through the bush allows for the legs to warm up, the weight of our packs to settle and our children to be lulled into a false sense of comfort before the turn-off to the Sealy Tarns track.
It doesn't take long to climb above the bush into tussock and speargrass-studded rocky terrain.
Conversation grinds to a halt as all available oxygen is converted to the task of keeping up the momentum on the upward gradient ahead of us.
Fortunately, the commanding views gained from every vertical metre climbed require frequent appreciation.
Daring to glance up reveals the zigzag track continuing to the ridge of the Sealy Range and beyond us are teasing glimpses of Aoraki/Mt Cook and Mt Sefton.
Between us and the seemingly close ridgeline is a steep face of sun-baked rocks that dwarf us as we venture into them.
Picking our way up the route we graduate from rock-hopping to scree-scrambling for the final 500m.
We crest the ridge and are stopped in our tracks by the breathtaking (or was that from exhaustion?) vista that reveals itself.
Our teenagers sum it up with a chorus of "Phwooaar" as we toss off our packs and clamber to the outcrop of rocks at the end of the ridge.
As we absorb the dramatic contrasts of the towering peaks and ice shelves on the flanks of Mt Sefton to the sweeping Mueller Glacier below us, we are oblivious to a flock of keas ripping into our packs and my brand-new walking poles.
You have to admire their opportunism and ability to discern between aged walking poles and tasty new spongy-gripped ones! A final clamber through an ochre-tinted boulder garden dotted with patches of ice and snow brings us into view of the Mueller Hut.
A particularly welcome sight, as the synonyms - strenuous and back-breaking - are starting to hit home.
We share the afternoon sun on the deck with a friendly, international mixture of trampers; multilingual conversations are silenced and replaced with collective awe as massive slabs of ice break free from the ice shelves and the thundering explosions echo in the alpine amphitheatre encompassing us.
At 6pm, we congregate in the spacious kitchen/dining area to listen to the hut warden's talk and weather update.
Anne is a volunteer hut warden who spends her summer holidays in locations ranging from lakeside Doc campgrounds to alpine huts such as the Mueller and Siberia huts.
Breaking up her six-day stints at the hut to pop down to Mt Cook village for fresh vegetables seems to be all in a day's work for Anne.
Isolation and rationed dehydrated food don't appear to be problems, as she describes a group of trampers who recently brought her a whole crayfish for dinner.
We settle down to a night of pummelling gusts rattling the hut, trying to forget the photo on the wall of the alpine hut that blew away one night and hoping our bladders will last until daylight.
Anne's enthusiastic recommendation for seeing the sunrise from the ridge above us is only for the extreme adventurers in the hut.
Most of us think braving the gales to get to the toilet 50m away is enough of a challenge.
We don every item of thermal clothing, a far cry from yesterday's sunbathing, and make the first tentative steps into the wind-assisted descent.
A brief three hours later we reach the shelter of the bush again and relax into the realisation that all the effort has been completely fulfilling. adjective - satisfying, rewarding, gratifying, and achieving something that was desired.
Mueller Hut Tramp Fact File
Walking track distance: approx. 5km, gaining altitude of 1000m from Aoraki/Mt Cook village.
Walking times: approx 4 hours from village to Mueller Hut and return 3 hours.
Hut fees: $35 per person in summer and $30 in winter. Trampers must pay hut fees before starting the trip at the Doc visitor centre in Aoraki/Mt Cook village. Gas cookers are available in summer. No heating or drying facilities in the hut. Camping is permitted although terrain is rocky, cost is $15. Go prepared for extreme weather conditions.
Further information: www.doc.govt.nz (search for Mueller hut route in Canterbury region).
