Almost a day and a half sitting in planes, losing track of time and sleeping patterns. First stop: Shanghai, land of the critically paranoid. Especially when it comes to Swine Flu.
After boarding a crowded flight to Shanghai the pristine air hostesses informed the Air New Zealand passengers that the ‘People's Republic Of China's Health Authorities' would be boarding the plane when we landed. "Stay in your seats while a health check will be run on the passengers. If you move from your seat, it will stop."
That's it, no more information. How's that for emotive?
Official forms were handed out before arrival, asking for the usual: Name? Birth date? Reason for visit?
Also a Health Check Form asking for statements on your health with boxes ‘Tick for yes or no. Dehydrated? Sore eyes? Dry throat? Cough?', the list went on.
As any of you who travel often will know, these are all common symptoms of a long haul flight, not necessarily life threatening, right?
Then, and I kid you not, this next bit was slightly surreal.
After landing on the runway on a scorcher of a day in China's capital, two men and two women boarded the plane, and marched in pairs together up each aisle of the cabin.
Dressed in bio-hazard suits, you know the ones-white fabric one piece suit, with goggles, masks and laser guns. Yep, laser guns. No one informed us what was happening or what to do, so everyone sat quietly waiting for their turn, as a very ominous mood settled across the cabin.
Passengers were silently instructed to lift their fringe as the laser was pointed at their forehead, taking their temperatures. If the crazy looking spacemen were unhappy with your temperature, then without warning a thermometer was shoved into your mouth.
After almost an hour of this ridiculous routine, passengers were told the ‘health status of the aeroplane was unsatisfactory' and due to two passengers having high temperatures the whole plane was going into QUARANTINE!
Now, don't get me wrong, I mean it's good their health checks are thorough but does anyone else see it as a little overboard?
And if health checks are going to be carried out, why not in Auckland before we took off? Surely if one person was infected after thirteen hours on a plane with the same air circulating around the cabin, we would all be infected...?
Wouldn't it be more efficient to complete health checks before take off? It really gets you thinking about the level of common sense used by officials. Speaking of which, next stop: London . . .
• Bronwyn Wallace is reporting from her family holiday.
