In an email dated August 13, supplied to NZPA by Labour Party deputy leader Annette King, Kaitaia CYF staff were told to show respect to the minister when she visited the next day.
"It is not appropriate for staff to pour their hearts and souls out to the minister," a manager wrote.
"This is a formal visit and she is not your 'friend'. It's a bit like the relationship between a servant and a master, i.e. the servant knows their place. She should not be presented with the woes of the office, or lack of resources, or anything like that."
However the email said it was okay to state there were challenges that could be managed.
An anonymous person copied the email to the Government, Labour and other political parties as well as the Children's Commissioner.
CYF's deputy chief executive Ray Smith said the email was an "unnecessary and surprising" action and the manager involved regretted showing bad judgment.
"It was completely inappropriate and in no way reflects the position that I or the staff of CYF take with our minister visiting our offices," Mr Smith said.
Ms King questioned the point of the minister's visit if staff could not speak freely.
Ms Bennett told NZPA she did want staff to speak to her about concerns.
"I have visited a large number of offices and I have purposefully targeted visits to Work and Income and Child Youth and Family because I want to talk to staff and hear what is happening there," she said.
"I very much value them and their opinions and I am disappointed in the manager's email."
