Don’t look back ...
You can find everything on the internet these days.
So, let me utilise a handy tool that allows me to translate any sentence into broad Scottish, as if it had been written by Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh himself.
Which possibly means: when will our Scots brothers again have such a ripe opportunity to beat New Zealand on a rugby field for the first time?
An All Blacks team prone to erratic form coughed up a 17-0 lead and lost three players to yellow cards, while a very good Scottish team had plenty of ball and dominated the aerial contest.
And Scotland STILL could not get the job done.
I have a mate called Jumbo, a wee Scots fella who spent some time years ago in the Edinburgh of the south. He was rather confident before the Murrayfield clash, to the point he suggested a certain southern newspaper might want to interview an ex-Pirates club rugby player on the scene.
After the test, well, I need to censor the odd word, but his reaction spoke volumes.
"Well Scotland BLEEP that up royally. Spurned too many chances. Scotland had the ABs under the pump and were right into them in that third 20. As soon as McKenzie came on, I said we were BLEEP. It was BLEEP, mate. BLEEP it at the breakdown too many times."
Mebbe next time, laddie.
... in anger
It is not like England are that great right now — and the All Blacks have really dominated the rivalry — but only a fool would predict a cakewalk at Twickenham tomorrow morning.
The All Blacks will certainly need to be better in their two problem areas.
Discipline has been an issue for some time, and I can’t imagine England not making the most of three yellow cards.
Then there is the dreaded high ball.
Modern rugby, especially in the test arena, is heavily focused on lofted kicks, whether we like it or not, and it remains a massive Achilles heel for the All Blacks.
Expect plenty of peppering from the Poms, and the Grand Slam bid could falter if it is not dealt with.
The master plan?
T20 cricket leaves me cold most of the time, though I acknowledge it brings in the crowds — and it was great to see plenty at the Black Caps game at the University Oval on Thursday.
What will be fascinating in the coming weeks and months is what happens to the New Zealand domestic smash-and-bash game.
Stuff has reported plans for a seismic shake-up of the Super Smash with a strong possibility it will be privatised and sold to Indian interests.
As long as the traditional forms of cricket are not sold to a gambling-obsessed nation, I am ambivalent about any T20 change.
Half the world away
Regular readers of The Last Word are possibly sick and tired of reading about Liverpool.
So let us briefly talk about Liverpool. Because there is lots to talk about.
Imagine winning the league by 10 points, suffering a horrific tragedy before the new season when a beloved player dies in a crash, seeing a local hero bolt for Real Madrid, spending half a billion quid on new players, watching an Egyptian king lose his grip on the throne, celebrating a bunch of late winning goals, enduring a brutal losing streak, and realising finishing fourth from here would be an achievement.
Rock’n’roll star
Hat tip to the great Kieran Foran, whose glittering rugby league career ended with the Kiwis’ win over Samoa in the Pacific Cup final.
Foran has been a heck of a player through 34 tests and 318 NRL games for five clubs, and sets a record as the oldest Kiwi at 35 years and 200 days.
He is a class act, and it will be interesting to see if he can forge a successful coaching career.
Roll with it
Fabulous news for the hockey community in the South following confirmation Dunedin will host a women’s Four Nations tournament in January.
Still, after such a long time between Black Sticks visits, this is very good news for the sport.
All your dreams are made
And what was it like to see the greatest rock’n’roll band in the world in old Sydney town?
BIBLICAL.
Just a shame about all the Man City shirts.
