Adam Thomson has rejoined Otago after being dropped by the All Blacks. Rugby writer Steve Hepburn catches up with the loose forward, who has had a roller-coaster few weeks.
But he is far from chucking in the towel, and is aiming for a big season for Otago to force his way back into the black jersey.
He also says his future with the Highlanders will depend on who is chosen to coach the franchise next season.
Thomson (28) scored the only try for University A in the premier club final on Saturday, although he undoubtedly would have preferred to be running out on to Westpac Stadium in Wellington than playing at Carisbrook.
He said being dropped, while he knew it was coming, was disappointing.
"I suppose the thing is if you play and don't play well and then get kicked out it's all on your own shoulders.
"But I never got a chance to stake a claim at that level," he said.
"That was the most disappointing thing about that.
"But in saying that, there was a lot of communication from them about what I have to do and the goals I have to reach.
"I saw it coming. When I was not involved in the first test and then not starting at Carisbrook was really disappointing.
"That was my home region and the last test at Carisbrook in my home province.
"And then to not start again in Hamilton, the writing was on the wall."
He came off the bench at Carisbrook and Waikato Stadium but it was hard to make any impact playing as a replacement.
"You come off the bench and try to do everything in a short amount of time and it doesn't really work."
Last year Thomson was to the fore at turning the ball over and making tackles.
But new law interpretations have made turnovers rare and it is more about attacking and getting on the front foot.
Thomson said he was aiming to get those abilities into his game.
"I just have to run with the ball a bit more, be a link player.
"That is the way they [All Black selectors] see the game going with loose forwards.
"I just need to adjust my role, have a good NPC and stake my claims for the end of year tour."
He said watching the All Blacks easily dispose of the Springboks over the past two weeks was just extra motivation to get back into the team.
But there were still plenty of crumbs at the table, with the possibility of a Commonwealth Games gold medal for sevens and winning the Ranfurly Shield.
"To win a gold medal and win a Ranfurly Shield would not be a bad consolation.
"Commonwealth Games sevens is quite unique in rugby. There is a lot of hard work to be done for that and if the opportunity came it would be a great thing."
Thomson was enjoying being back in the Otago scene and said changes always brought some excitement.
"Phil [new coach Mooney] has come in with some fresh ideas, trying some different things with personnel changes, and then there is the Ranfurly Shield challenge to look forward to."
Thomson's contract is due to end with Otago at the end of this season, and there has been much speculation over where he will play next season.
But he said the identity of the next coach of the Highlanders would decide where he ends up, as All Black ambitions still run deep.
"I've only got a couple of major goals left and have not got much time left in New Zealand.
"Obviously, the World Cup is one big goal. I've not made my mind up [where to play next year].
"I'll have to wait and see on what unfolds here.
"Seeing who is coach is a major thing.
"At that level I need a team, with the way things are going, that want me to be a ball runner and a link player.
"If the Highlanders are going to play a brand of footy that lets me do that, then that is going to be great and I want to be a part of it.
"But if not then I might have to look elsewhere. That is unfortunate but that is the way it is."
Going overseas before the World Cup was not an option.
Wellington coach Jamie Joseph is tipped for the Highlanders job, with All Black assistant coach Steve Hansen likely to be involved.
Once the coaching appointment is announced - it is expected by the end of the month - Thomson will not take long to make a decision.
"I don't want it to be waiting around for too long. It will become too much of a distraction."
Thomson, who first represented Otago in 2004, is likely to play for Otago on Thursday when the side takes on Tasman in a pre-season game at Carisbrook.
"I'm raring to go.
"That is why I played those club games."
