Andrew Cotterrell acknowledges it has taken him a while to open up about his darkest days.
It is nearly two decades since he spent a year receiving treatment at private Dunedin psychiatric hospital Ashburn Hall (now Ashburn Clinic).
Despite much greater awareness now around mental health, there still remained a stigma and people ``would rather not talk about it''.
``You never quite know what reaction you're going to get. You run the risk, if you speak out, then somehow you taint yourself. The other side is it might give someone hopefully some inspiration. Not that my story's fascinating [but] it just shows you can come back,'' he says.
Mr Cotterrell (56) credits Dunedin law firm Downie Stewart with giving him a chance to rebuild his life after what he refers to as a ``John Kirwan event''.
After rejections from other law firms - ``you could see them switch off ... I'd joke I'd hear the shredding of my CV as I walked out the office'' - it was Downie Stewart that ``took a risk and it worked out''.
Mr Cotterrell was born and raised in Dunedin. His father was a policeman and the family moved to Wellington when Andrew Cotterrell was 9.
It was stress in his personal life that led to his treatment in 1999 and, on reflection, it was the biggest challenge of his life and the ``darkest of times'' for him and his family.
He came to appreciate the support he had. Firstly from family members - and he described that as like ``a life jacket holding you up in the sea'' - followed by medical treatment and medication.
After getting through that, then it was about ``getting the break'' - finding a job and rebuilding his life.
Most firms weren't interested when they heard of his recent history, when he had to explain where he had been for the year that was missing from his CV.
He could understand that, saying ``if I had someone like me, sitting in front of me, I may have hesitated ... it's tough as an employer''.
When Mr Cotterrell fronted up at Downie Stewart for an interview, he took a risk and injected some humour when it came to where he had been for his missing year.
He answered honestly, as he had to the other firms, but added ``and before you ask, Jack Nicholson and the Chief were not there'', referring to the Academy Award-winning movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
The practice manager and partner interviewing him both burst out laughing, which ``broke the ice'' and it was to prove to be a turning point. He was offered a job working at a lower-stress level on a one-year contract.
The first six months were ``a bit sketchy'' but partner Gerard DeCourcy was ``just excellent'', helping him until ``finally it clicked''.
He worked with him daily, and Mr DeCourcy saw the mood swings, ``head on desk'' and the tears - and would take him out for coffee when it was needed.
Had he been working for someone with a much different temperament, Mr Cotterrell acknowledges he ``wouldn't have lasted''. ``I would have been biffed - I'm pretty lucky that I got him,'' he said.
Mr DeCourcy said Mr Cotterrell's complete openness was ``incredibly well received'' and earned him a lot of respect at the firm.
Mr Cotterrell worked for Downie Stewart for four years, enjoying both Dunedin and the close proximity of the skifields and lakes of Central Otago.
In 2003, he returned to Wellington, where he had family members, but also partly to face the personal challenge of re-establishing himself again.
He created the Southern Man Tournament in 2008, which allowed him to catch up with his former Downie Stewart colleagues every year at various locations around the South Island, playing golf and socialising. It was all about a desire to keep those friendships going, he said.
On his return to Wellington, he was offered a job as in-house general counsel for property developer Ian Cassels, looking after the legal side of his commercial property portfolio.
Mr Cotterrell was now chief executive of commercial property investment company Cornerstone Partners and it was a busy role.
The company owned 21 commercial properties in Wellington and was focused on refurbishing its buildings to 100% National Building Standards where possible.
Looking back, Mr Cotterrell said he did not know where he would have ended up if he had been shunned by Downie Stewart. And he wondered what happened to those people who ``don't get that door open''.
There was ``no way'' he was not going to attend the firm's 150th celebration at Toitu Otago Settlers Museum last night. Achieving such a milestone was ``huge'' - and he was ``part of that history''.
Downie Stewart took its name from William Downie Stewart, the founder of the firm, but it was more strongly connected with his well-known son, the Hon William Downie Stewart jun..
Mr Downie Stewart sen commenced practice in 1867 and continued with the firm until his death in 1898.
Mr Downie Stewart jun was better known both as a distinguished lawyer at the beginning of last century and as a politician and member of Cabinet. He joined the firm in 1900 and retired in 1922.
There have been 21 partners in the firm since 1867, including the current six partners, and staff now numbers 30.
Downie Stewart is one of the 10 oldest law firms in New Zealand and acts for multi-generational families. One of the nice parts of the practice was having those long-term relationships with clients, Mr DeCourcy said.
Attorney-general Chris Finlayson was guest speaker at last night's function.
