Christopher Luxon
My New Year’s resolution is just to, you know, continue to maximise opportunities as they arise or even before they have arisen and find the right pathways for ordinary Kiwis to achieve cut-through while I put New Zealand on the map in ways that Jacinda Ardern never dreamed of.
I mean, it’s all very well appearing as a guest on The Graham Norton Show but she was a bit underwhelming and didn’t really make the most of it.
I reached out to producers of the show over the Christmas break and gave them a taste of the crack-up lines I would deliver as a guest. Like for instance, Graham Norton would ask, "who are you and why are you here?", and I’d quip, "great to be here Graham, have you ever thought of coming to New Zealand? You could visit the Waitomo Caves or ski at Queenstown, and we’ve got the greatest wines in the world — you look like you could do with a drink!"
I can just see the other celebs splitting their sides at that one. I mean, they barely smiled when Jacinda was on. It's not something I obsess about but I've watched it six times now and it's pretty obvious what was happening, that Graham Norton had never heard of her and cut her off as soon as he could.
Chris Hipkins
My New Year’s resolution is just to, you know, do what I've been doing and carve out a space for myself as the natural successor to Jacinda Ardern. I watched her on The Graham Norton Show and thought she was great. I mean, show business always meant more to her than politics. She often looked to me for guidance and ideas when we were in government, and it would have been nice if she had given me more credit for that in her book, her film and her appearance on The Graham Norton Show, but I guess at the end of the day she's a selfish cow who only thinks about herself. She's great, though.
Chloe Swarbrick
My New Year's resolution is to work hard to secure a place for the Greens in a coalition government with Labour and bring a renewed sense of joy to Aotearoa while acknowledging that it is a modern tragedy that from our first breath, our infinite human potential is commodified and constrained by market logics and clipped by the lottery of economic circumstance and geographic luck.
A media consultant told me over Christmas, "lighten up, Chloe. Look at Jacinda when she appeared on The Graham Norton Show. Funny, charismatic — you're a bit like that. What would you have said in her place?"
I said, "something along the lines of, ‘take a breath. Know that breath connects you to the planet beneath your feet. To the wind rustling outside. To the whales singing in our oceans. Know that breath connects you to every other human being on this planet. Know that you are not alone'."
David Seymour
My New Year's resolution is to continue to expunge Jacinda Ardern from our memory, and that's why I have fast-tracked a Bill to remove her name from any reference to her appearance on The Graham Norton Show. It will be a victory for free speech.
Rawiri Waititi
My New Year's resolution is to unify all Māori beneath the divine rule of Te Pāti Māori. We will do away with the white settlers. We will not watch Jacinda Ardern on The Graham Norton Show. We will row a waka to my moat and I will close the castle gates and brood on my future.
Winston Peters
My New Year's resolution? None of your damned business. I'm not putting up with questions like that. Politics isn't a chatshow. Jacinda Ardern can appear on The Graham Norton Show now that she's out of politics — but I'm not out of politics. I am politics. Happy New Year. Get out of my way.
