Last weekend
The Magpies crushed a hapless Sharks outfit by 40 to sail away at the top.
The Eels got it done, but only just, over Varsity, which will now be wondering if it can make the four.
It hasn't been helped by a long list of casualties and now it's lost four more to NZ Universities.
The Hawks crushed the Onion to go third-equal and the drums are beating and wings flapping.
Kaik finally chalked one up when it beat the Spannerheads to gouge itself off the bottom.
Pirates made it two from two when upsetting Zingers to soar to eighth.
The new Genghis Khan
Word on the street is that all is not well in the open grade.
Apparently, nobody wants to play the all-conquering West Taieri (the Eel juniors) because they are too good, too tough and too mean and should be playing premier 2.
They have a few retired premier players bolstering their stocks.
There have been three rounds and they have been defaulted to twice.
As the story goes, chairman Nigel Hodge (old premier front-rower from the Magpies, from memory) is also the chairman of the Metro committee and has been using that position of power to fire off countless emails to all and sundry threatening all sorts of ramifications if clubs don't front up.
Surely, ''Genghis'', is this not an abuse of power?
Reggie, can you pull the tyrant into line?
Super Coach - really?
Apparently, the original Super Coach grabbed the new Southern van last week to pick up his beloved Magpie Colts to take them to practice and duly arrived at HQ Bathgate two hours later for practice, much to Reggie's consternation.
It transpires he got to Varsity a bit early and went for a drive through the northern cemetery - as one does - and got himself locked in!
He finally got hold of the security firm (from Auckland) to get extricated an hour later.
He was explaining this to Reggie and was mystified there was no live caretaker on site, to which Reggie replied: ''It's a bloody cemetery!''.
Surely the Magpies can't win the competition!
Speight's volunteer
Snowy and the team, when not building sheds, have come up with an idea to reward the clubs of Otago's most loyal servants.
Just email Snowy (info@speights.co.nz) and tell him about your unsung club hero and he will pick the most deserving over the next few months and hand-deliver a flash new Speight's spectator jacket and probably a few other goodies.
Good on ya, mate.
Country rugby
Alex is having its 125th this weekend and all sorts of luminaries are turning up - Brewser, Johnny Timu and Smokin' Joe. Call in - Breeny will welcome you with open arms.
Alex is playing the Matak Mudfish, who unbelievably have won two from two.
Alex also has some handy form after crushing the Arrowtown Bulls last weekend.
But I'm hearing some dodgy rumours flying over officiating.
The same Alex ref controlled the Alex and Roxburgh games against the Bulls which resulted in two local wins.
I won't name the ref but his employer, Foleys, has given him unlimited overtime over the past few weeks, and New World vouchers have purportedly been found in his mailbox.
I'll have to get Welcome back Kotter, the head honcho of the refs, on the case.
Oh, and in case you're interested, Clutha wins it all year in the South.
Snippets
Colin Jackson from North Otago is now bringing in women's players!
Sheldon, the top ref, apparently disciplined Mitch Will over the green card issue at the Pony Pit a couple of weeks ago and he got stood down - surely not.
The Kaik heavies are wondering, after witnessing a blacklisting of their clubrooms by the Sharks president last year, whether he will turn up to his clubrooms if Kaik upsets them this weekend.
A very apt question, I would have thought.
The Harbour club has a bit of a quandary regarding how to give players game time if they are not required for premiers as the Hawks have no premier 2 side.
Solution?
They are sending them out to GI to play for its premier 2 side, which is struggling for numbers.
Good work to all concerned.
This weekend
Destroyed Terry Davies last weekend and on to Graham Stewart, from Cutlers, a self-confessed know-it-all and Kaik supporter - thus two from two for yours truly.
Varsity (12-), although severely depleted, will just beat Zingers at home, even with Marty Banks playing.
The Magpies (12-) could squeak home against the Eels but nearly too close to call.
The Sharks (12-) need to get back on track at home on the sand dune against Kaik but, as we know, they are the Sharks' bogey team.
The Onion (13+) bounces back and canters to a win over the Spannerheads at the equestrian centre.
Hawks (13+) too big and too strong at the Lobster Pot for Pirates.
Two more things
The ODT Express is on next weekend and we are still looking for the country teams.
This is your big chance to show the townies up - and most of you won't be playing because of duck-shooting!
The big premier colts game at Shark Park this weekend is the Makos v OBHS, which will give us a big idea of the major players in the grade.
