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Amateur Christchurch food critic Alan 'Big Al' Parsons has built a loyal online following with blunt reviews of pies, burgers, fish and chips, and other convenience foods.
“I don’t really claim to be a professional in any sense. I’m just an amateur food reviewer,” he said.
But behind the online persona, his fast-food content has come with a personal cost.
Parsons weighed 146kg when he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 2022.
Over 18 months, he lost more than 30kg, but now lives with type 3c diabetes following surgery on his pancreas.
Despite that, the 43-year-old self-confessed foodie said he has no intention of slowing down.
“A lot of people think pies and burgers are all I eat. I do eat a much healthier diet when I’m not on camera,” he said.
Parsons now weighs about 100kg and balances his diet by limiting junk food, exercising regularly – particularly after meals – and boosting his nutrition with vegetables, high-protein meals, and smoothies made from spinach, berries and banana.
He began reviewing pies in 2020 but has since expanded to a wide range of different foods and drinks.
The part-time security guard and former trainee chef has built a Facebook following of about 8400 over six years, making him a ‘nano-influencer’ – a term for creators with roughly 1000-10,000 followers, typically focused on a niche audience.
Asked about his worst food review, Parsons didn’t hesitate.
“An Angus pie with black garlic. I thought it would be nice, but I took one bite and threw it in the bin. It was disgusting,” he said.
The best is harder to choose.
“That’s a tricky one. I’ve been doing this for a few years now and I’ve had a lot of good stuff.”
He aims to post at least one review a week, depending on budget.
“I don’t really make any money out of it, but sometimes I get free stuff to review.”
His reviews regularly spark debate online – none more so than a horse meat pie from Auckland’s Pakuranga Bakehouse, which became one of the country’s most talked-about pastries.
The bakery’s manager, Pho Bok said the $9 pie was inspired by the Tongan dish lo’i hoosi and uses slow-cooked horse meat in a coconut-based filling.
He said the meat is sourced from the country’s only registered horse meat processor and is approved for human consumption.
“People come from all over to try them,” Bok said.
“The pies are racing out the door.”
Parsons gave the pie 8.5/10.
“It was really good, very nice. I can see why it’s so popular,” he said.
“The coconut milk and onions make for a unique flavour.
“Well worth trying if you live or travel north.”
Reaction online was mixed.
“That’s a neigh from me,” said David Roulston.
Kyle Smith commented: “Looks pretty good. I’d put a dollar each way on that being a winner.”
“Nothing wrong with horse meat, have eaten it as steak in Belgium and it’s delicious! Have also had ostrich, giraffe and various antelopes in South Africa… again, equally delicious,” said Cliff Rogers.
“Phar lap and cheese,” said Colin Edwards.
However, Sean Pleasants offered a warning: “You can’t eat too many or you’ll end up with the trots…”
Parsons plans to continue his reviews and hopes to eventually monetise his page through advertising and merchandise.
For now, he’s taking viewer suggestions and planning his next culinary road trips to Darfield and Prebbleton – still chasing his next standout bite.
BIG AL’S TOP 10 BAKERIES
- 1. Glamour Cake, Lyttelton
- 2. Pies and Coffee, Spreydon
- 3. Try’s Bakery, Templeton
- 4. Te Kai Pie Bakery & Cafe, Wainoni
- 5. Claudes Kitchen, Woolston
- 6. T Bakery, Linwood
- 7. Burwood Bakery
- 8. Chum family bakeries: Aorangi Bakery, Bryndwr, Sockburn Bakery, Woodend Bakery, Selwyn Bakery, Lincoln
- 9. The Naked Baker, North New Brighton
- 10. Sydenham Bakery