HEATHER DU PLESSIS-ALLAN
Oh. My. God. Have you heard about what BSA has said?
BARRY SOPER
No, but did I ever tell you about the time I was drinking a few wines with Winston in a motel in Hastings in 1981? Or was it 1991. It may have been sometime in between. Dear old Winston. What a character.
HEATHER
Yes, dear, you have told me that story, many times, but I’m talking about something which just happened this second. The Broadcasting Standards Authority has upheld a discrimination and denigration complaint about comments we made on my show.
BARRY
But I’ve just been knighted.
HEATHER
Named an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit, but same thing. So the BSA has upheld the complaint, and found that we mocked former Green Party MP Benjamin Doyle, saying that we went far beyond legitimate political critique during the September 5, 2025 broadcast, using language that was ‘‘insensitive, disrespectful, and dehumanising’’.
BARRY
Well what other language is there for God’s sake.
HEATHER
I know, right? Why would you listen to Newstalk ZB otherwise?
BARRY
So Winston said, ‘‘Let’s demolish this bottle, and start on another. What do you think, Baz?’’ And I said, ‘‘That sounds like a plan to me.’’ [Laughter] Even then he was making coalitions.
HEATHER
They’ve taken offence to us calling Doyle ‘‘Bussy’’. But I often refer to politicians by various nicknames, e.g. ‘‘Chippy’’ for Chris Hipkins, and ‘‘Bish’’ for Chris Bishop. Same thing.
BARRY
Or ‘‘old mate’’ for Christopher Luxon.
HEATHER
Exactly the same thing.
BARRY
Doyle was not a great contribution to politics, I must say. The only thing they’ve done is being the first non-binary person that’s entered the corridors of power in Parliament and that’s about it because if you look at anything else, there’s nothing. Nothing. Not like Winston. Did I ever tell you about the time I was drinking a few wines with Winston in a motel in Mosgiel in 1987? Or was it 1997.
HEATHER
NZME has argued the finding.
BARRY
Love NZME.
HEATHER
The BSA has ordered NZME to broadcast a statement censuring my show.
BARRY
I thought the BSA had been scrapped.
HEATHER
The BSA has been scrapped, but they’re making a few farewell decisions before they get shown the door.
BARRY
Can’t come soon enough. Bye-bye BSA. Doyle is gone. Woke is dead. Thank goodness we’ve passed that era and let’s hope nothing more comes of it.
HEATHER
They were very dark days.
BARRY
We stood our ground.
HEATHER
We stood firm against the forces of darkness.
BARRY
We saw Ardern off the premises.
HEATHER
We held on and maintained a straight-down-the-middle approach in favour of the Right.
BARRY
So Winston said, ‘‘I can match you glass for glass.’’ And I said, ‘‘You’re on, mate.’’ And do you know what he did? [Laughter] Dear old Winston. What a character. I mean, say what you like about him, but he’s always been good fun. So there we were, in a motel room in Westport, or was it the East Cape? Anyway, you’ll never guess what he did next.
HEATHER
What?
BARRY
I honestly can’t remember.
