The Owaka mother went on a deeply spiritual journey following the death in 2012 of her son, Rowan, in a quad bike accident, just months before his 17th birthday.
Next week, she will launch her first book - Chasing Shadows: A Mother's Attempt to Process Her Grief- about how she used that two-year journey to process her grief.
The book documents her transition to a person who now believes in an afterlife and a metaphysical universe.
''You can never heal [a broken heart].
''That chunk has been taken away and it can never come back,'' she said.
The book was about how she learned to manage her pain, and come to respect it.
''I think that intense pain will always be there, but not all the time.''
On Boxing Day 2012, Rowan Parker left with friends to explore a friend's family farm in the Chaslands.
He was on a quad bike and tumbled 250m to his death after he lost control at a cliff edge.
Rowan was ''one awesome kid'' and one of the things that hurt her and husband Chris Parker the most was no longer being able to look forward to his future, Mrs Parker said.
The Parkers have a second son, Francis, who is eight years older than Rowan.
Following Rowan's death, Mrs Parker took to reading about the afterlife.
Having decided she wanted to make a connection with her son, she chanced upon the daughter of an old friend, who had become a medium, and went to visit her in San Francisco.
She believes she made a connection with Rowan through the medium, and started blogging about her experiences.
Chasing Shadows was a compilation of her blogging efforts.
It documented her decision not to follow her son ''over a cliff'' and her coming to some understanding about what death was.
She no longer feared death so much, she said.
She hoped her book would help people in similar situations, and even be some help to those nearing the end of life, such as those with a terminal illness.
The book ends with a mantra from the Dalai Lama - ''love, compassion, forgiveness'' - words she said she used to overcome her grief.
Mrs Parker will launch her book in Owaka on February 20.
