Hockey: Career and children hard task unless someone lives in the shadows

Former New Zealand women's hockey player Honor Carter (nee Dillon) posted a cryptic tweet recently announcing that she refuses to be a shadow to her husband's life.

This is probably clever marketing for some business she has started, and using her husband's high profile is one way of getting some attention in an overly noisy and twittering world.

She does have a bachelor of commerce degree in marketing and worked for DB Breweries as a marketing manager, so she knows what she is doing with her ‘‘watch this space'' hashtag.

Her intriguing message also raises the issue of how difficult it must be to live in the shadows of a high-profile partner when once upon a time both of you were moving and shaking in the intimate celebrity circles in New Zealand.

Honor was an elite athlete herself, playing for the Black Sticks women's hockey team from 2004-11, and experienced the highs and lows of playing at major international tournaments.

So it must be a significant mind shift going from juggling a hockey ball towards a goal to juggling two young children towards adulthood.

Perhaps they require the same level of determination, multitasking and focus? There is no denying, however, that it is very difficult for both parents to continue striving for sporting excellence, especially if there isn't hands-on support from extended family, loyal friends or paid staff.

One member of the dynamic duo must step into the shadows of nappy changing, burping and sleep deprivation. Honor Carter has had a hiatus while tending to her two sons and transitioning to France with her husband Dan, but it looks like she is ready to juggle motherhood and her marketing career once more.

It isn't always the woman in a high-profile relationship that steps into the shadows, though. Recently, one-test All Black George Whitelock openly talked about willingly stepping back from rugby and back to a rural lifestyle to help raise his daughter, pursue a coaching career, and support his Black Sticks wife, Kayla Whitelock (nee Sharland).

Fortunately he has a strong rural upbringing and skill base to fall back on, unlike many other players who struggle to adjust to life after rugby. It must be a huge boost for Kayla to know she has a supportive partner who allows her to pursue her dream, and as one of the veterans and legends in women's hockey, she boosts the team's medal chances at the Olympics.

Midfielder Kayla has more than 235 test caps and scored a goal per game in the last two tests against 19th-ranked team Canada to bring her tally of goals to more than 60.

She has competed in three Commonwealth Games and three Olympic Games, was named on the FIH's All Star Team in 2010 and was named Hockey New Zealand's player of the year in 2012. And to top up her legendary status, she has made a brilliant comeback.

Kayla Whitelock deserves to step out of the shadows and into the limelight, so watch this space.

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