An Argentina fan proposes to his partner as supporters celebrate victory over England, in Buenos Aires, on Monday. PHOTO: REUTERSNot coming home Still a great World Cup. Still happy enough to point out I tipped Spain to win at the start of the tournament. Still amazing to think the immortal Messi might win another one. Still ... still ... still four more years of hurt, even for those of us who are not English but who want to see the Three Lions bring it home. Spain to beat Argentina on penalties in the final. England footballer Declan Rice looks dejected after the loss to Argentina in the World Cup semifinal. Photo: ReutersFootball takes over We all know the World Cup is the biggest show in sport but one particular fact relating to broadcasting numbers caught my eye. The round-of-16 game between the United States and Belgium reported staggering TV ratings. No fewer than 42million Americans — 30million on Fox and 12million on Telemundo, the Spanish-language channel — watched Belgium pump the hosts 4-1. For context, that is more people than have ever watched an NBA or Major League Baseball game in history. Only the NFL playoffs have a higher figure this century. Elite athletes Americans, or at least a healthy chunk of them, believe they can rule the world and be better than anyone at anything. I have lost count of the number of verbose Yanks who have made sweeping statements on social media during the World Cup about their belief the US could dominate ‘‘soccer’’ if given the chance. Their half-baked theory is that all the elite American athletes gravitate to basketball and their own form of football, in particular, so if they were instead directed into the beautiful game, booyah, US dominance. Pfft. It’s kind of a nonsense argument, and not just because it is never going to happen. Besides, there is a lot more to football at the elite end than athleticism. But it did get me thinking. Shall we name a football team including only non-footballing New Zealand athletes? Indeed, we shall. The Last Word is all about equality — yes, the column has gone a little woke over the years — so we will name a unisex XI in a 4-3-3 formation. Our goalie is Silver Ferns star Grace Nweke, on track to be the greatest New Zealand netballer since Irene van Dyk. With her immense wingspan and ability to haul in a ball from anywhere, she will be staunch between the sticks. Olympic high jump champion Hamish Kerr (1.98m) and Tall Blacks basketballer Sam Mennenga (2.06m) are our central defenders. Good luck out-leaping them at corners. Fullbacks are multi-skilled athletes Ruben Love (rugby) and Glenn Phillips (cricket), charging up and down the field all day. Our midfield contains New Zealand netballer Kate Heffernan, White Ferns cricket captain Melie Kerr and All Blacks second five Jordie Barrett. That gives us a nice mix of energy, inspiration and class. Wide forwards are All Blacks captain Ardie Savea and Black Ferns Sevens talisman Jorja Miller, running off the obvious choice as target man — basketball megastar Steven Adams. Perhaps this is one New Zealand team big Steven will agree to represent. Will Jordan scores tries for fun. Photo: Getty ImagesSpeaking of elite Hat tip to modern-day great Will Jordan for breaking the All Blacks test try-scoring record. Jordan has a frankly ridiculous 50 tries in 56 tests, and assuming he stays here beyond the next World Cup, he will set a mark that will not be beaten. It should not be forgotten that the overall try-scoring record is still a wee way off. John Kirwan scored 67 tries for the All Blacks in 96 games (including 63 tests). Jordan has never played a non-test for the All Blacks. More NPC shenanigans The Southland Stags copped a (surprisingly light; must be losing my touch) barb in this column last week — for including no fewer than six international players in their squad — so I must really treat Otago similarly. The Ranfurly Shield holders have whistled in Australian prop Marley Pearce on the eve of the season. They will no doubt, and perhaps fairly, point to the unexpected departure of Abraham Pole, and suggest a lack of NPC-ready front-rowers in the region. And, yes, it should be fairly pointed out Otago have been excellent at promoting local talent, and they have capital in the bank after such a wonderful season last year. But is the NPC a place where any team should be developing young Australian players? Nah, mate. Bits and bobs Two things stood out in a recent edition of the Huddle Up newsletter produced by American analyst Joe Pompliano. He first looked into the fascinating rise of gambling on a most unexpected sport. No less than $US34 million ($NZ58m) was bet on table tennis in ONE state (Colorado) in ONE month. It took in more bets than football (soccer), tennis and golf. Table tennis was ‘‘the best example of the gambling epidemic this country appears intent on driving itself into’’, Pompliano wrote. He also looked at the interesting case of star cyclist Tadej Pogacar. The Slovenian rider earns more than €12 million ($NZ23.5m) a year, making him easily the highest-paid cyclist since Lance Armstrong. He brings in about €2.5 million yearly from endorsements — and, after his agent gets a small cut, he donates every dollar to his foundation and junior cycling team. Names of the week The Last Word’s obsession with sporting names is threatening to take over his life. Of note lately was a knockout-style competition to find the greatest baseball names in history. My favourites? Cool Papa Bell, Boots Poffenberger, Sugar Cain, Steamer Flanagan, Orval Overall, Jiggs Parrott, Van Lingle Mungo, Grover Lowdermilk, Phenomenal Smith, String Bean Williams and the great Oil Can Boyd. hayden.meikle@odt.co.nz
