Trying to make sense of the pre-election nonsense from our political masters is akin to grappling with why my 5-year-old grandson lost the plot during his three-a-side football games at the weekend.
I had been called in to be on standby as Dad was filling in as coach for the day (mostly a task ensuring our team was running the right way and subbing children on and off).
Only the magic of a red snake lolly provided by one of the parents saved the day.
But where is the magic snake lolly of whatever hue which can make us feel better about the nonsense served up daily by our political parties?
Last week we had New Zealand First leader Winston Peters trying to have a bob each way (he is the racing minister) on the Bill making sweeping changes to our health and safety law.
It was too convenient for him to curry favour at a rally outside Parliament opposing the Bill which included Pike River Mine disaster campaigners Anna Osborne and Sonya Rockhouse, saying he was forced to support the law due to the coalition agreement but he would fix it after the election.
If he believes this new law would endanger workers or even lead to more workplace deaths, as those in the rally clearly did, how does loyalty to the coalition agreement trump that?
He is happy not to be a team player on other issues such as the free trade agreement with India.
As far as I can see, nothing in his coalition agreement with National committed NZ First to health and safety law reform.
Even in Act New Zealand’s agreement with National, it was a one-liner – ``Reform health and safety law and regulations’’.
Such vagueness would surely pave the way for NZ First or even National to say to Act well, we agreed reform was needed, but we do not agree with where you arrived on that.
Since this is another issue where there has been little support from submitters, including the Employers and Manufacturers Association and Safer Farms, why isn’t the government listening?
After all, on RNZ Prime Minister Christopher Luxon told us this week, regarding government backdowns on fisheries and conservation legislation, these moves reflected good lawmaking.
``It's about making better law.
‘‘So, I think what's worse is actually mindlessly just pushing on for something when you're not listening to that feedback and there's genuinely good feedback that you should be trying to make that law better.’’
Asked if it would not be better to have well thought out law to start with, he said the government did, but it was also quite good the ``public in a democracy actually get to comment on that legislation, actually get to strengthen or improve it’’.
Wowee.
When did he come to this enlightened view?
How does that relate to the record number of Bills this government has pushed through with truncated select committee process or no opportunity for comment by the public?
Many of us are still smarting from the couldn’t care less attitude of the government over pay equity law.
No likelihood of any of us having genuinely good feedback worth sharing on that one, obviously.
However, it is important to allow submissions on dog-whistling rubbish Bills such as the English Language Bill and the Legislation (Definitions of Woman and Man) Amendment Bill.
What’s next? A Women, Know Your Place Bill? I nominate born-again candidate Stuart Nash to put that idea forward.
Name calling and petty bickering about policy is tedious too.
Who cares who thought up an idea first? If it is a good idea, let’s get on with it.
Take National’s proposed Home Energy Fund to offer low-interest, long-term loans repaid through rates to help households buy solar, batteries, insulation and heat pumps, without big upfront costs.
That seems to have enough cross-party support to get it over the line now, so why wait?
Also, why is there criticism of re-treads of old policy ideas simply because they are not new?
If they still make sense, what does it matter?
All our MPs like to insist they are there to improve our lives, so they should celebrate anything good even if it comes from another party.
In this climate, when people wonder about the rise in the polls of the Opportunity Party, it does not surprise me.
Yes, the party and its candidates are untested, and people might not necessarily grasp their policies, but to jaded voters their vibe is more magic snake lolly than stale old snake oil.
• Elspeth McLean is a Dunedin writer.
