That is the attitude of a Southland woman who has been told she was only millimetres away from paralysis or even death.
Joccoa Crosswell, of Tokanui, Southland, is wearing a 2kg halo around her upper body as she recovers from a rugby tackle which went wrong just under two months ago.
Miss Crosswell, who just turned 21, was hit by a tackle about 10 minutes into the game while playing for Mataura under lights on May 15.
"I didn’t really see it coming. Just remember getting up and continued playing for a bit and then I was in a lot of pain so I come off and went to hospital," she said.
She had pain in her neck and down her sides and was taken to Gore Hospital for a couple of hours. She was then transferred by ambulance to Invercargill Hospital, where she had a CT scan and was then told she had broken her neck.
Her C1 and C2 vertebrate had been broken and she was millimetres away from it being so much worse.
"The doctors told me that I should have been paralysed and that if it was any worse, I probably would have been killed.
"I didn’t get killed, so I’m pretty happy."
It could have been a lot worse, she said.
She was transferred to Dunedin Hospital, having to travel by ambulance as it was too foggy for a helicopter.
By now it was early afternoon the following day and she began getting fitted for a halo.
A halo was connected by metal bars to a padded, lightweight vest worn over the torso. It causes the head, neck, and upper body to move as a single unit, allowing damaged vertebrae to fuse and heal.
It took a couple of days for it be fitted and now some seven weeks later it was still on.
"When I get the halo on and tried to sit up, it’s like you’ve got bricks on your face because it’s really heavy."
It had made for a change of life as her head could not move. Initially she started sleeping in a chair but now she could sleep in a bed.
Eating was not easy. Her plates of food was put on a stack of books to get up in line with her eyes as she could not look down.
Restrictions on her head limited all parts of her life as she was not allowed to carry anything weighing more than 2kg. So she had been doing a lot of reading and watching television.
Her wardrobe had also gone through a change as clothes were not easy to fit with the halo.
A farm worker, Miss Crosswell said it was hard to adjust as no-one really realised how often you moved your neck. She was not working at the moment.
It was seven weeks on Tuesday since she had the halo fitted and was hoping it would come off in the middle of next month, when she would begin strength exercises.
Walking had never been a problem and if all went well, she should make a full recovery.
"I could be sad and sorry about it but that isn’t going to change it, is it?"
The second youngest of four siblings, she held no resentment to the person who tackled her, saying it was just an accident. There was a small gathering with family and friends for her 21st, two weeks after the incident.
Unfortunately, she would not be allowed to play rugby again, which she said was disappointing, having played since she was 5. But she had lots of other things to do and wanted to get back on her horse later in the year.
