SECTIONS

dazed and confused

OpinionFebruary 16

At last, a desire held from birth satisfied

Most rational thinkers agree that 3 years old is as far back as a human can remember.
At last, a desire held from birth satisfied
At last, a desire held from birth satisfied
OpinionFebruary 11

Original lyrics jolt after a lifetime of misinterpretation

While the city was being roasted alive over the closing days of January, confirming for the cynics and curmudgeons of the north that Dunedin is in fact the sunniest and warmest city in all of New Zealand, I was slaving over a computer keyboard indoors transcribing, copying and pasting the lyrics of the 23 songs to be performed in the upcoming ''Tally Ho!'' town hall concert.
Original lyrics jolt after a lifetime of misinterpretation
Original lyrics jolt after a lifetime of misinterpretation
OpinionFebruary 2

At one with the literati

I don't think anyone would disagree for a single second that lying your head off at a social function is a tremendously under-appreciated skill.
At one with the literati
At one with the literati
OpinionJanuary 26

Unpredictability of life a joy

Most rational thinkers would agree that a life lived without meeting an exceptionally intelligent human is simply a life not lived. 
Unpredictability of life a joy
Unpredictability of life a joy
OpinionJanuary 19

Colour, it can be matter of perception

If I have been asked the question in Trivial Pursuit where the word kitchen comes from once, I have been asked it a thousand times.
Colour, it can be matter of perception
Colour, it can be matter of perception
OpinionJanuary 5

Only slender hope of success in my aspirations to be a pumpkin

Most rational thinkers would agree Joe Bennett is the finest columnist in the world today.
OpinionDecember 29

Idyllic qualities in the eye of beholder

Anyone with half a brain will tell you the Ida Valley is idyllic.
OpinionDecember 22

Turning back the clock puts my identity in doubt

In last week's column I described digging out a 1961 class photo in the basement, but this search unearthed something even scarier, a box filled to overflowing of all thing primary school.
Turning back the clock puts my identity in doubt
Turning back the clock puts my identity in doubt
OpinionDecember 15

The girls were way ahead of me in form 2

Long-time Rolling Stones saxophonist Bobby Keys died at the start of this month after battling a suitably debilitating rock'n'roll disease, cirrhosis of the liver.
The girls were way ahead of me in form 2
The girls were way ahead of me in form 2
EntertainmentDecember 15

In honour of finest viewers

In all workplaces, there is a hierarchy.
OpinionDecember 8

Matching gift to intellect the challenge at Christmas

Most rational thinkers would agree there are two types of Christmas presents: smart presents bought both for and by people with big brains and an extremely sound idea of what is good and proper in this wretched life we are currently reeling from, and cretinously simple moronic presents, fads, destined to flood the charity stores of the city by as early as Boxing Day.
Matching gift to intellect the challenge at Christmas
Matching gift to intellect the challenge at Christmas
OpinionDecember 1

The undead lurks in the freezer

My brother dropped a crayfish over last Thursday. Dead, I presume.
The undead lurks in the freezer
The undead lurks in the freezer
OpinionNovember 24

Exploring Renaissance period a testing cultural experience

Most rational thinkers would agree a Renaissance Man is a man to be envied. Cultured, debonair and successful in many different areas, the Renaissance Man will always be invited to prestigious dinner parties, and clapped on the back at significant art openings.
Exploring Renaissance period a testing cultural experience
Exploring Renaissance period a testing cultural experience
OpinionNovember 17

Faster than a speeding bullet fired blindfold

Scientists attempting to explain the feat of the Rosetta spaceship whanging a robot thingee down on the comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, said it was like shooting a bullet at a speeding bullet while blindfolded and riding a horse.
OpinionNovember 10

Mimicking maturity in our coffee bar days

Coffee bars. Were they so long ago?
OpinionNovember 3

Show of hands exhilarates

Some days, just nothing happens.
OpinionOctober 20

Time to stand and deliver

Why do couriers run?
OpinionOctober 13

As Donne said, 'Coro' best when Ken on the pull

The 16th century poet John Donne, who wrote of death like no other, once said Coronation Street is at its best when Ken Barlow is on the pull.
OpinionOctober 6

I discover the joy of burning fudge

If there is one truism that is truer than the truest of all that is true, it is if you are looking for something, you will find something else.
I discover the joy of burning fudge
I discover the joy of burning fudge
OpinionSeptember 29

Can't beat a spoon for dining

We all peak at different ages. And the skills we have in adulthood are mastered in many weird and wonderful ways.
OpinionSeptember 22

Pshaw to your mad theory, Complete Stranger

A complete stranger, male, small, assailed me in Diesoline Cafe last week, whanging the preposterous theory down on the table that my column-ending predictions and promises are bunkum, that they would never, or could never, happen.
Pshaw to your mad theory, Complete Stranger
Pshaw to your mad theory, Complete Stranger
OpinionSeptember 15

Where is the future of music?

Epiphanies strike in strange places.
Where is the future of music?
Where is the future of music?
OpinionSeptember 8

Sweet temptations of retail

In the fetid rotting swamp that is modern retail, many established shops have chosen diversity to survive.
Sweet temptations of retail
Sweet temptations of retail
OpinionSeptember 1

Tall tales and true from the dim past

We have been told by our elders for years of the power and beauty of storytelling. Oral history. Forget Google, go to the people who were there and make them talk.
Tall tales and true from the dim past
Tall tales and true from the dim past